Look Around
by Snakequeen-in-Norway
Summary: Turn to Gold Sequel. Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy, former arch-emenies, have been happily dating for 2 1/2 yrs. But what if they're not the same people they were at 14? What do they truly want? Can the first person you're ever with really be "The One"? The cover art is the album cover for Anthony Rapp's "Look Around", the album which inspired this story. I do not own it.
1. Living Alive

**Author's Note: This is the sequel to Turn to Gold, in case you hadn't realized that yet. This story also has a song basis, but it's a little different than TTG. While TTG was based on one song, with each chapter being a line from the song. Look Around is based on the Album **_**Look Around**_** by Anthony Rapp, with each of the twelve songs on the album representing a chapter. The songs are not in the same order in the fic as they are on the cd, though the first and last chapters of the fic are the first and last songs on the cd. Originally I was going to name the fic **_**Now I Know**_**, after the song which will serve as the last chapter and which was the original inspiration for using the album, but I decided to use the name of the album instead, since the fic is based on the entire thing. I will be putting the song lyrics for each chapter at the end of the chapter.**

**I hope this sequel meets your expectations!**

**-SQ**

**Disclaimer: The Song "Living Alive" belongs to Anthony Rapp, all of the characters and things from the world of Harry Potter belong to Jo, hell, I can't even take credit for a lot of the ideas in the fic, since I'm certainly not the 1****st**** person to use them. But I'm not making money off it so who cares?**

**Chapter One: Living Alive**

"Al! Al! Albus!"

Albus's friend Asher Thomas stuck his head into their dormitory. "Scorpius is outside the portrait hole shouting for you."

Albus rolled his eyes. "Isn't he supposed to be the patient one? Tell him I'll be there in a minute."

He scanned his unmade bed to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything, tucked his Potions textbook into his bag, and trotted down the stairs, across Gryffindor common room, and out of the portrait hole.

Scorpius Malfoy, Albus's one-time arch-enemy, was standing there, hand on his hip.

"You're late."

Albus shrugged. "I'm always late." He pulled Scorpius down by his green and silver Slytherin tie and kissed him on the lips.

Scorpius returned the kiss, his hands coming to rest on the shorter boy's shoulders. Even after over two years he couldn't believe that Albus was really his.

Albus released Scorpius's tie and and broke the kiss. "Good morning," he said, smiling impishly up at his boyfriend of nearly two-and-a half years.

"Good morning, yourself," said Scorpius.

"You could have come in, you know," said Albus. "You know the password."

Scorpius shook his head. "I'm a Slytherin, Al, not a Gryffindor. I don't belong there."

"You belong with me," said Albus.

"You sound like a bad romance movie," said Scorpius.

Albus shrugged. "Come one then, let's go down to breakfast before everyone else eats it all up."

The two sixth years walked down to the Great Hall together hand in hand, studiously ignoring the looks many students gave them as they passed. The population of Hogwarts looked on the boys' relationship with a feeling of incredulity; most people couldn't believe that they had lasted this long. Three years ago Scorpius had been solitary, broken, and friendless, looking to suicide as his only way out. Now he was confident, popular, and never far from the side of Albus Potter, his arch-enemy turned boyfriend.

The two boys were hardly thought of as individuals anymore; they were "Albus-and-Scorpius", "Al 'n' Scorp", Hogwarts's token odd couple. From rival houses and rival families, they were a sort of modern-day Romeo and Juliet. And everyone knew how _that_ story ended...

Albus and Scorpius parted ways at the entrance to the Great Hall and went to sit at their respective tables. Scorpius watched as Albus was hailed by his myriad of family and friends, the people who, over the last three years, had become Scorpius's friends too. He looked down his own table. Sylvester Nott and Zachary Goyle, the two students who had done the most to make his first three years at Hogwarts a living hell, were no longer there. They would have graduated the year before if they hadn't been expelled in their sixth year for sexually abusing Scorpius. Albus, of course, had been the one to help him overcome that part of his life. He didn't know that Scorpius still occasionally had nightmares about the two older boys...

Scorpius pushed Nott and Goyle to the back of his mind and looked down the Slytherin table again. He was struck, not for the first time, by the fact that he _still_ felt like an outsider in his own house. Sure, he was no longer miserable or frightened there, but he spent nearly all of his time with Albus and his circle of friends, so that he didn't have his own circle of friends.

_Seventeen and not a single real friend in my own house_, he thought. _Pathetic._ He looked to his right where Kevin Goldstein, a fellow sixth year with curly strawberry blond hair and a rosy complexion, was sitting.

"Hey, Kevin, how are you today?"

Kevin looked at him, surprised. Even though they had shared a dormitory for five and a half years and were on good terms, they had rarely spoken to each other. _Well, duh_, thought Scorpius, _I leave the dormitory early every morning to go meet Albus at freakin' Gryffindor Tower!_

"I'm pretty good," said Kevin, "how are you and Albus?"

Scorpius gritted his teeth. Couldn't, just once, someone ask how he was without adding Albus in there too? He loved Albus with all his heart, but they _were_ two different people!

"We're good," said Scorpius, not letting his irritation show in his body or voice. It was a skill that came fairly naturally to a Malfoy, and had only been heightened by being in the closet for close to three years.

Xander Montague, an olive skinned seventh-year and the only other openly gay Slytherin, leaned over from Kevin's other side. "Well that's a pity," he said. "But that aside, how are _you_ today?"

Scorpius looked at him, puzzled; Montague had never paid him any notice before. "What do you mean?"

"Well," said Montague, "now that we've established that your's and Potter's relationship is fine and dandy, though I can't say I'm happy about that, can the same be said for you individually? Or is it to be assumed one and the same?"

"I'm well," said Scorpius, surprised and a little irked by the question, not to mention what Montague had said about not being please he and Albus were doing fine. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Of course," purred Montague "As long as Potter is happy you're happy, right?"

"Not necessarily," protested Scorpius. "And what's wrong with being happy, anyway?"

Montague snorted. "Nothing, nothing at all. Whatever you say, Malfoy. If you ever want to try living your own life, look me up." And with that he turned back to his breakfast.

*****LA*****

Scorpius was preoccupied all week with what Montague had said. The thing was, Montague had given voice to something that had been bothering Scorpius for a while now. His whole existence _did_ seem to revolve around Albus. It made sense; Albus had made him who he was today. Only...who _was_ that exactly? _Albus's boyfriend_, he thought morosely, chewing on the ends of his long, blonde hair, a habit Albus hated.

"Earth to Scorpius," said Albus, coming up beside his daydreaming boyfriend. "What do you want to do this afternoon? Neither us have Quidditch practice—"

"Actually," said Scorpius, making a decision on the spur of the moment. "I was thinking of spending some time with some of my Slytherin friends."

"You don't have any Slytherin friends," said Albus.

"What do you know?" Scorpius snapped. "Aren't I allowed to have friends of my own? Or am I only allowed to hang out people pre-approved by you?"

"Whoa, Scorp," said Albus, taken aback. "I never said that. If you want to hang out with some of your house-mates then that's cool. I just thought you didn't have any friends in Slytherin."

"Well you were wrong," said Scorpius shortly.

"Easy, Scor," said Albus, touching his boyfriend's arm softly. "What's wrong?"

Scorpius shook his head. "I'm sorry Al, I've just got a lot on my mind right now."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Maybe later," said Scorpius. He bent down and kissed Albus tenderly. "I'll see you later."

*****LA*****

Montague looked up as Scorpius came over to where he was sitting.

"Look who decided to join us after all," he said, smiling. "Our very own Scorpius Malfoy."

Scorpius nodded.

"What made you change your mind?"

Scorpius shrugged. "I'm my own person; I can choose to hang out with whoever I want."

"Bravo, little Scorpius," said Montague. "You may find some real backbone yet. Sit down."

He made room for Scorpius on the couch next to him and Scorpius sat. Montague pulled a pair of bottles out of his bag. "A toast to Scorpius Malfoy! Bottoms up, mates!"

*****LA*****

"Scorp, why do you keep running off to the Slytherin common room after lessons?" asked Albus.

"If you haven't noticed, I am a Slytherin," said Scorpius.

"I know that," said Albus, "but you never used to spend so much time there. Who are you spending it with?"

"Why is it any of your business?" said Scorpius.

"I'm your boyfriend!"

"I'm seventeen, Al, don't I think I'm old enough to take care of myself?"

"I'm just curious; who're you spending so much time with? I'd like to meet them. Maybe you could introduce me."

"You wouldn't like them," said Scorpius. He wasn't sure why he was so set against Albus meeting his new friends, except that he wanted to have something of his own, one thing that he didn't share with his boyfriend. A part of his life that wasn't also a part of Albus's. Was that too much to ask?

"_Who?"_ demanded Albus.

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "If you _must_ know, it's Xander Montague and Damian Urquhart and a few other people.

Albus narrowed his eyes. "Montague? That seventh year? I don't trust him."

"What? Because he's a Slytherin? Because he's _gay_?"

"Don't be ridiculous," said Albus. "You're a Slytherin. We're gay. Well, you are, I'm bisexual—but that's beside the point! I just don't think he's the kind of person you should be hanging out with."

"You don't even know him," said Scorpius. "He's fun. I like him. He's _interesting_."

"That's not always a good—"

"You're not my mother, Albus!" said Scorpius angrily. "Stop trying to control my life!"

Albus gaped at him, "wWhat's gotten into you, Scorp?"

"I'm tired of being defined by our relationship. I'm more than just 'Albus Potter's boyfriend'!"

"Of course you are, Scorp," said Albus, "I never said..."

"No, _you_ never said, but other people do!" said Scorpius. "It's all very fine for _you_. _You_ were someone _before_ we started going out! I wasn't! Can't I just be me for once? !"

"You _are_ you," said Albus.

"Am I?" said Scorpius. "And who _is_ that exactly? Who is Scorpius Malfoy? You're always telling me to be myself, but I don't even know who that is! You wanted me to live so badly, well let me live a little!"

"Just tell me what you want Scorp, and we'll do it."

"I want some space!" said Scorpius. "We. Always with the we. This isn't about 'us' Albus, it's about _me_. Who the fuck _am_ I?"

"You never minded before," said Albus in a small voice. "And I don't see what Montague has to do with this at all."

Realization dawned on Scorpius's face. "You're jealous! You know Montague is openly gay and that I'm spending time with him instead of you and you're jealous!"

"Aren't I allowed to be?" said Albus, feeling hurt. "I _love_ you."

To both of their surprise, Scorpius laughed. "Do you? Do you really? The only person you've ever been with is me, Al, and the only person I've ever been with is you. We got together when we were fourteen. Who the hell knows who they are and what they want at fourteen?"

"But, Scorp," said Albus, almost pleadingly, "we're not fourteen anymore."

"Exactly," said Scorpius softly.

"Don't you—don't you love me anymore?"

Scorpius stared somberly into Albus's wide green eyes and shook his head slowly, pale hair swinging. "I don't know."

*******Song Lyrics*******

_I know you think no one knows you, but you don't know_

_You think you got nowhere to go, you're not alone_

_I know they just won't let you be, they push and pray_

_Don't run away_

_You can't be anyone else, you've got to be yourself_

_You can do so much more than survive_

_There's something you're so afraid of, you refuse to see_

_If you caught a glimpse of what you're made of, you would be free_

_I know you know..._

_You can't be anyone else, you've got to be yourself_

_You can do so much more than survive_

_Try living alive_

_You can't be anyone else, you've got to be yourself_

_You can't be anyone else, you've got to be yourself_

_There's only one you for all time,_

_Try living alive_

_Alive..._

_Alive_

**AN: And there is the first chapter. Yes, the boys had almost 2 ½ lovely years before things began to get rocky. I'm picking back up with them were there is an actual story, meaning, all is no longer well. No one wants to read about a bunch of happy, un-conflicted people. Bo-ring.**

**I recommend looking up **_**Look Around**_** and Anthony Rapp if you're not familiar with them. Anthony Rapp was the original Broadway and movie Mark in the musical RENT, if that means anything to you. Of course, listening to the entire album before reading the fic might kind of give some stuff away...**

**I'd really like to know what you think about this first chapter, so if you have something to say, shoot me a review.**

**-SQ**


	2. Goodbye

**Disclaimer: Anthony Rapp owns the song "Goodbye" and Jo owns Harry Potter. I can't possibly own both of them, because I can't be two people at once. And, in fact, I own neither of them.**

**Chapter Two: Goodbye**

"You—don't—know?"

Scorpius averted his eyes so he wouldn't have to see the pain in Albus's emerald ones. "No, I don't know; I feel like I don't know anything anymore. I _care_ about you, I do, but what does any fourteen-year-old, any seventeen-year-old for that matter, know about love? I just need some time and space to figure things out, Al, that's all."

Scorpius needed space? thought Albus incredulously. Scorpius was the clingiest person he'd ever met! Everywhere Albus went, Scorpius had to follow; everything Albus did, Scorpius had to do too. Actually, it got rather annoying, but Albus put up with it because he loved his boyfriend, and Scorpius needed him. But now here Scorpius was, telling him he needed _space_!

"Al?" Scorpius extended his hand toward the other boy and laid it tentatively on his shoulder.

"So," said Albus woodenly. "What do you want then?" Merlin, how many times had he said those words to Scorpius over the last three years? _What do you want, Scorpius? Whatever you want, Scorpius. If you want, Scorpius..._

Scorpius cleared his throat. "Well...I was thinking that we could kind of...take a break. You know, still be together but...non-exclusive. See other people."

"See other people?" echoed Albus, feeling like a parrot. "Who did you have in mind? Montague?"

"I don't know," said Scorpius. "Maybe. Just—just I think spending some time away from each other with other people—would be good. For both of us."

_For both of us? I never wanted this. Did I?_ If Albus was honest with himself, he _had_ wondered what it would be like to have some time to himself. Even to have some time with other people...another person.

"Come on, Al, I need this," said Scorpius.

Albus clenched his fists. _It's always about what you need, isn't it?_ He thought. "Alright," he said, though it wasn't. "We can...take a break... See other people. If that's what you want."

Scorpius's face broke into a relieved grin. "Thanks Al, I knew you'd understand." He threw his arms around Albus and kissed him on the mouth. Albus couldn't help himself, he kissed him back.

Then Scorpius headed in the direction of the Slytherin common room, leaving Albus feeling a little bit like the fiancé in _On the Town_, a musical he'd once gone to see with his cousins. The one who, no matter what shenanigans his young girlfriend got into, always said "I understand.

*****LA*****

Albus and Scorpius's relationship over the next couple weeks was strained, to say the least. As this kind of thing had happened before, though not quite to this magnitude, their friends knew better than to ask them about it, but rather watched worriedly from the sidelines.

Albus and Scorpius were still affectionate toward each other; they still kissed when the met in the Great Hall for breakfast (though Scorpius no longer went up to the Gryffindor common room in the mornings), they still met to study together in the evenings neither of them had Quidditch, but they spent much less time together than usual, and when they were together everything seemed forced and unnatural.

Albus couldn't help wondering if Scorpius really was "seeing other people." Even though he had given the okay, the thought made him distinctly uncomfortable. He knew he could never bring himself to "see someone else" when he was still with Scorpius, even "casually"; he would feel like he was betraying him. _Which is silly,_ thought Albus to himself. _It was Scorpius's idea in the first place._

*****LA*****

"I hear you broke up with your boyfriend, little Scorpius."

Scorpius looked over his shoulder. Xander Montague was lounging on one of the green and silver couches by the fire.

"We didn't break up," said Scorpius. "We're just...taking a break."

"A break?" said Montague, raising an eyebrow. "So that means you're free to see other people?"

"Well yes...theoretically," said Scorpius.

Montague smiled. "Good for you, little Scorpius," he said. "Why don't you come sit down?" He patted the seat next to him invitingly.

Scorpius hesitated. Despite what he had said to Albus, Montague made him nervous; he reminded Scorpius a little too much of Nott and Goyle, though he had never participated in their tormenting of him.

"Malfoy," said Montague, "I don't bite."

Scorpius sat gingerly down beside the larger boy.

"I'm not going to force you into anything," said Montague. He handed Scorpius a glass of some kind of alcohol. "Just enjoy yourself. Enjoy being free."

*****LA*****

"Scorpius, are you _drunk_?"

Scorpius blinked blurrily down at Albus. "No."

Albus stepped closer to the blond boy and inhaled. He caught the definite tang of liquor. Scorpius swayed slightly.

"You _are_ drunk!"

"I'm not," Scorpius protested. "I just had one glass."

"One glass of _what_?" said Albus.

"Er—"

Albus pulled Scorpius down into a chair and surveyed him. His eyes were blurry and bloodshot, his normally pristine hair slightly disheveled.

"I don't like this," said Albus. "I don't like you going off with random Slytherins and drinking unknown alcohol."

"You're not in charge of me!" said Scorpius angrily.

"Listen to yourself!" said Albus. "You sound like a whiny little kid!"

"And you sound like a controlling jerk!"

"What happened to the boy I fell in love with?" asked Albus.

"I told you," said Scorpius, "I'm not that boy anymore."

"I'm beginning to realize."

The two boys stared at each other for a minute. Finally Albus relented. "We'll discuss this when you're sober, Scorp," he said, holding out his hand to the other boy with a sigh. "Let's get you cleaned up."

*****LA*****

_You shouldn't be doing this, _Albus told himself, even as he made his way down the corridor to where he had seen Scorpius and Montague on the Marauder's Map. _I'm just going to make sure he's alright_, Albus argued with himself.

He rounded the corner and felt like he'd been socked in the gut. Scorpius was alright alright; in fact, he looked more than alright. He was standing on his tiptoes, being supported by Montague's hands on his hips, his own hands reaching up to rest on the taller boy's shoulders. Their lips were locked together as Scorpius let Montague gently explore his mouth. As Albus watched, frozen, Montague gently repositioned Scorpius's hands and then tilted his head slightly to the left. He appeared to be guiding Scorpius's movements like a professor might when teaching a student a new spell.

Albus stumbled backward. He knew he had given Scorpius permission to see other people, but he'd never fully realized what that meant. It _hurt_. It hurt to see Scorpius in the arms of another man. A man who was taller and stronger and more manly than Albus could ever hope to be. Feeling sick to his stomach, Albus hurtled back the way he had come, barely making it to the bathroom before he began to retch.

It felt like his entire world was falling apart. Because, for the past three years, Albus realized, Scorpius had _been_ his entire world. Everything he did was for Scorpius or with Scorpius in mind. _I don't remember the last time I made a decision purely because it was right for _me, Albus realized, appalled.

*****LA*****

"I saw you kissing Montague."

Scorpius looked into Albus's face and winced. "So?" he challenged. "We have an open relationship now, remember?"

"You know how I feel about him."

"What about how _I_ feel about him?" said Scorpius.

"How _do_ you feel about him?" asked Albus.

"I don't know," said Scorpius. "That's what I'm trying to find out. I _like_ him. He's exciting. He knows things...he can show me how to do things...he kisses amazingly." Scorpius smiled at the thought, trying to ignore the thought that he wasn't voicing: _He makes me nervous, but I can't stay away._

"Better than me?" asked Albus.

"Not better..." said Scorpius, though this wasn't really true. "Just...different. I need this Al, I need to experiment."

"Ok, you've experimented," said Albus.

"Come on Al," said Scorpius, taking Albus's face between his hands and stroking his cheeks. "I need more time. Please...I'm trying to figure myself out. I need to go out and _do_ things. Just give me more time..."

He leaned in and pressed his lips to Albus's. In spite of himself Albus felt himself melt against Scorpius's lips, his body melding with Scorpius's as he returned his kiss. Scorpius could always do this to him, distract him with his lips and his body until he forgot the reason he was angry in the first place. His hands traveled along his lover's body, caressing first his chest and then more private areas as Scorpius whispered in his ear.

"For me Al."

And Albus nodded, already lost in Scorpius's embrace.

*****LA*****

Albus sat on his bed, kicking his heels angrily against the side.

"What's up, Al?" said his friend Jerry, sitting down next to him.

Albus glared at the carpet.

"Scorpius," said Albus, kicking the bed savagely. "He's bleeding me dry! I don't know how long I can take this. I love him, but I don't even know if he loves me anymore. _He _doesn't know if he loves me anymore! I hate being confused!"

"I don't blame you, mate," said Jerry. "No one likes being confused."

Albus sighed. "I don't think I can do this anymore, Jerry."

"You can only do what you think is best, Al."

*****LA*****

Albus pulled out the Marauder's Map and scanned it. It didn't take him long to find his...to find Scorpius. He was heading toward the Slytherin common room, accompanied by Montague and a few other Slytherins; if Albus hurried he could still catch him.

Albus tucked the Map into his robes and hurried out of Gryffindor Tower and down the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. Panting, he arrived in front of the entrance to the dungeons just in time to intercept Scorpius and the other Slytherins.

"Why hello, Potter," said Montague. "To what honor do we owe your presence?"

"I want to talk to Scorpius."

"Who says Scorpius wants to talk to you?" said Montague in a genial voice.

"Xander, don't," said Scorpius. "It's Al. He's my...it's Al. What did you want, Al?"

"Can I talk to you alone, Scorpius?"

"Er—sure," said Scorpius. He motioned for the other Slytherins to go on ahead. "I'll catch you up."

"What is it, love?" he asked when they were alone.

"I can't do this anymore," said Albus bluntly.

"Do what?" said Scorpius, confusion written on his face.

"_This,"_ said Albus. "This...this relationship. It has to end."

"End?" said Scorpius. "What do you mean, 'end'?"

"You know what I mean, Scorpius, don't pretend that you don't."

"Al...are you...breaking up with me?"

"Am I?" said Al. "Are we even together enough anymore for us to 'break up'?"

Scorpius took a step closer to him and touched his hands to the shorter boy's chest. "Albus, please..."

"That's not going to work, Scorpius," said Albus, stepping back and shoving the other boy's hands away. "Not this time."

"Well," tired Scorpius. "I guess we _aren't _really official anymore, so we can just—"

"No," said Albus forcefully. "There isn't any 'we' anymore, Scorpius, there isn't any any 'us'. You said you were sick of being defined as a couple, well there you go. We're done. Through."

"Albus, I never meant—" "You know what? I don't really care what you mean, because I don't think you know yourself," Albus was nearly yelling now. "My entire life for the past three years has been centered around you! 'What does Scorpius want?' 'What does Scorpius need?' I've spent so long deferring to you, defending you, because I knew you were hurting! I was willing to lie, to you, to myself, to other people, willing to compromise myself for your sake! But recently I've begun to realize that you've never done the same for me, and I was too afraid to ask you to. You were right; it _is_ time for us to find our own selves."

Scorpius swallowed. "We—we'll still be friends though, right Al? And maybe later, after we take a break..."

"No," said Albus. "I can't do it anymore; I don't have it in me! Did you honestly think I would just sit around and watch you making out with other boys? Keep giving you my love when I wasn't receiving anything in return? You take more than I have to give, Scorpius! And you don't return what you've taken! I've been afraid to see it before now, but it's true! I'm done with you! It's time to focus on something I've neglected for far too long: what _Albus_needs! And I don't need you in my life any longer!"

"Just listen to me," pleaded Scorpius.

"It's too late, Scorpius! You're wasting your breath! Say whatever you want, I won't change my mind and I won't back down. Not this time." He turned to walk back up the marble staircase.

"Albus!"

Albus turned around to look at the blond boy standing alone at the foot of the staircase, hardening his heart to Scorpius's look of desolation. "Goodbye, Scorpius."

*******Song Lyrics*******

_Sometimes I've been afraid to say the words_ _Sometimes I've been willing to lie_ _Sometimes I've been ready to tell you what you want to hear and_ _Sometimes I've been willing to lie_ _Sometimes you've been so afraid to see what I really need_ _What I really need_

_I don't care anymore_

_Say what you wanna say_

_I'll still say goodbye_

_I don't care anymore_

_I can't give another day_

_It's too late_

_Sometimes you need more than too much of me_

_Sometimes you give nothing back_

_What did you think_

_I would just sit around and watch you take_

_Sometimes you give nothing at all_

_Sometimes I've been so afraid to see what I really need_

_What I really need_

_I don't care anymore_

_Say what you wanna say_

_I'll still say goodbye_

_I don't care anymore_

_I can't give another day_

_It's too late_

_I don't care anymore_

_I don't care anymore_

_I don't care anymore_

_Say what you wanna say_

_I'll still say goodbye_

_I don't care anymore_

_Can't give another day_

_It's too late_

**AN: So yes, the title was a little bit of a giveaway of what would happen, but oh well. Our boys have officially broken up. Sorry, but they were having major issues, it obviously wasn't working anymore. If you have any thoughts, please feel free to share them in a review :)**

**-SQ**


	3. Then Again

**AN: Hooray, another chapter! I don't actually have much to say here, other than: enjoy the chapter!**

**-SQ**

**Disclaimer: Obviously, since I am writing **_**fan**_**fiction, I am a **_**fan**_**. As only egomaniacs a "fans" of their own work, I am obviously not Jo, meaning that Harry Potter just as obviously does not belong to me.**

**Chapter Three: Then Again**

The news spread through the school like wildfire; the school's most controversial couple had split up, and everyone in the student population had something to say about it.

"I knew they could never last."

"Of course not, they were complete opposites."

"Well, they do say opposites attract..."

"But they never said it _works_."

"It certainly didn't work for them."

"I'm surprised they lasted this long."

"It was a pity thing _I_ think, Albus just dated Scorpius out of pity."

"Scorpius only dated Albus because he was the first guy there."

"I don't think even _they_ thought it would work out in the end."

"I don't know, they always seemed so determined and optimistic..."

"Pshh, Albus didn't want Scorpius to hang around forever, and Scorpius only wanted Albus as long as he played along with his games."

"That's not very nice; it could just as easily be said that Albus was the one running the games, using Scorpius to stroke his own ego."

"I think you're getting Albus confused with James."

That one got a laugh.

"I really think they did think they could manage it."

"You know, it's weird, but now that they aren't together anymore, it almost seems stranger than when they were."

"Personally, I think they just got bored with each other; no more drama, no more reason to be together."

"No more drama, _create_ some drama by breaking up, you mean."

Scorpius internally scowled behind the blank mask he was projecting. They had broken up and _still_ his name wasn't said unless it was in the same sentence as Albus's. What did he have to do to get some individual recognition around here?

_I'm not "Malfoy"_ he thought furiously _and I'm not "Albus's boyfriend" or "Albus's ex-boyfriend" I'm Scorpius, just Scorpius._

*****LA*****

Albus was already having second thoughts about dumping Scorpius. What he had said to the boy was true, but that wasn't to say he hadn't enjoyed and benefited from their relationship. In fact, really, he had sometimes used Scorpius's devotion to him for his benefit, much to his later shame. He had never thought that he would actually voice his frustrations, that the hold Scorpius had over him could ever be broken, but he had, and it was. Well, more or less.

The two of them were Potions partners, a situation which was now exceedingly awkward, seeing as they weren't talking to each other.

_Is he okay?_ thought Albus, glancing sidelong at the blond. _He seems awfully quiet..._

"Scorpius—"

"Shh, I'm counting my stirs."

Albus shhed. _Not your issue_, he told himself sternly. _Not your boyfriend, not your issue._

*****LA*****

Scorpius was having a hard time not thinking about what Albus had said to him right before he dumped him. The other boy had accused him of being selfish, but all he'd ever wanted was to please Albus. He could barely remember his life without Albus in it, whether it was as his enemy, his friend, or his boyfriend. He had never imagined a life without the other boy, and now that that life was staring him in the face, he still couldn't imagine it. Being with Albus had been like a drug, a drug he had suddenly quit cold turkey.

_And that's the reality of it isn't it?_ He thought wryly. _I thought I was in love with him, but was I ever really? Or was I just addicted to him? He saved me, he brought me out of my shell, he pulled back the layers of my cover until everything I had built up around me to protect myself was in smithereens. He completely changed my world. He _was_ my world._

Scorpius rubbed his tired eyes, trying to scrub away the image of Albus that was burned into his retinas.

_Well, I'll just have to build myself a new one._

*****LA*****

Rose sat down next the Albus in the Gryffindor common room. "Hey, how are you doing?"

Albus shrugged. "It feels weird, not being with Scorpius anymore. I feel...incomplete."

"It'll pass," said Rose, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I know you shared something really strong with him, Al, but there'll be other people. The first break-up is always the hardest."

Albus sighed. He didn't think Rose really understood how deep his connection with Scorpius had been. Still, she was probably right. She usually was.

"Rosie," said Albus. "Did you see this coming?"

"In all honesty, yes," said Rose. "I did."

"Should I have?"

"Not necessarily," said Rose. "You couldn't have possibly looked at your own relationship objectively."

"Now that I think about it," said Albus, "both of us have been making excuses for a while now, trying to keep from falling apart. It was almost as if...neither of us wanted to be the one that ended it. Oh I don't know!"

Rose pulled her cousin into a hug. "You don't have to know."

"Is it a bad thing that I miss him?"

"Of course not," said Rose, "you'd be pretty hard-hearted if you didn't."

"Maybe I should—"

"No," said James, who had just appeared behind the sofa. "Don't get sucked back into that again Al. For both of your sakes. It's over."

Albus nodded. "You're right, James, it is over."

*****LA*****

And so Albus resisted the impulse to talk to Scorpius, to ask how he was doing, to apologize. He had nothing to apologize for, and they were no longer friends.

Scorpius, for his part, was doing much the same thing. In all honesty he was glad to be free, to have a chance to figure himself out, as scary as the feeling was. But a part of him desperately wanted to make up with Albus, to be friends with him still, even though they weren't dating. But Scorpius was smart enough to know that that would never work. There was too much history between them for them ever to be just friends again, too many confusing emotions, and, really, they had never been just friends to begin with.

*****LA*****

"Hey, Scorpius."

Scorpius looked up and smiled. Xander, the one person who thought of him as simply Scorpius, not as the Malfoy heir or Albus Potter's (ex)boyfriend.

"Xander."

Xander clapped him on the shoulder. "Hogsmeade this weekend," he said.

_First Hosmeade weekend without Albus_, said Scorpius's brain.

"Me 'n' Damian 'n' his girl're planning on going down to the Hogshead; the bartender there'll serve us alcohol. Want to come?"

"What?" said Scorpius. "Oh, sure. Thanks."

"No problem, little Scorpius," said Xander with a grin. "Someone needs to look after you, now that your big strong Gryffindor is gone."

*****LA*****

Scorpius walked down the main street of Hogsmeade with Xander Montague, Damian Urquhart, and Bryana Pritchard, a sixth year Slytherin and Damian's girlfriend.

"Here we are," said Xander. "The good old Hogshead."

Scorpius looked at the pub skeptically. It looked like it was about to fall down any second.

"What are you waiting for?" asked Xander, putting a hand between Scorpius's shoulder blades and giving him a gentle but firm push toward the door.

Scorpius entered the dark, dingy pub and sat at a table with Xander and Bryana while Damian ordered the drinks. A few minutes later he joined them with a tray of glasses and a bottle of Ogden's Best Firewhiskey.

"Drink up," said Xander, pouring Scorpius a glass.

Scorpius took a small sip. It scorched his throat, but the taste was strangely pleasant.

Xander and Damian knocked theirs back.

"Pigs," said Bryana sniffily, sipping daintily from her glass. She gave Scorpius a conspiratorial wink.

*****LA*****

An hour and several glasses of firewhiskey later, Bryana and Damian were locked together on the other side of the table, snogging as if their lives depended on it.

Xander tapped Scorpius on the shoulder. "It's more fun to do than to watch," he commented with a smirk, fingering the ends of Scorpius's long blond hair with one hand while touching Scorpius's chest with the other.

Scorpius suddenly realized something.

"This is supposed to be a double date, isn't it?" he asked.

"Well yes, that would be the idea," said Xander.

Scorpius shook his head. "I'm sorry Xander, but I'm not ready for another relationship right now. It's too soon. I need some time for myself."

Xander looked disappointed. "I thought you liked kissing me."

"I do," said Scorpius. "But that's not something to base a relationship off of."

"That's what their relationship is based off of," said Xander, indicating Damian and Bryana, who were still clenched together and showed no sign of coming up for air any time soon.

"Well it's not what I want mine based off of," said Scorpius.

Xander shrugged. "That's a shame, you're a good kisser, and I like you. It's not every day you come across another openly gay Slytherin. And closeted guys are such a pain. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me. Come on you two," he added, prodding the snogging couple. "Time to pack out of here."

*****LA*****

It was one week after he broke up with Scorpius that the first girl asked Albus out. She was a pretty fifth year with light brown hair, glasses, and a snub nose. She asked him in the common room before breakfast.

"Hey, Albus. Albus Potter."

"Yes?"

The girl blushed. "I—I know you just broke up with your boyfriend and I was wondering if you only swing that way or maybe you swing both ways. And if you do, swing both ways that is, if you'd like to go out with me." Her face reddened but she stood her ground.

"Sorry, no," said Albus. "That is, I do swing both ways, but it's just way too early for me to have another relationship."

"You're not planning on getting back together with him, are you?" said the girl.

"No," said Albus, "I'm just enjoying being single. Nothing against you, I'm just not ready for that yet."

"Alright," said the girl, not bothering to hide the bitter disappointment in her voice.

Albus watched her walk away, feeling both confused and slightly guilty for hurting her feelings.

*****LA*****

As it turned out, that was only the first of many hopeful offers, from many girls and a few boys, that Albus received over the next few weeks. Albus Potter was now the most eligible bachelor at Hogwarts, and almost the entire straight female and gay male population was eager to claim him.

"Why _don't_ you say yes to any of them?" Asher asked him after yet another girl had cornered him on his way to his dormitory. "What I wouldn't pay to have girls falling over me like that."

"You can have them," said Albus. "I need some Albus time before I jump into another relationship. I haven't had any Albus time for two and half years."

"Well, next time you reject one, send her my way, would you?" said Asher.

Albus laughed. "Will do."

*****LA*****

The general network of Albus's friends stopped being Scorpius's friends when Albus broke up with Scorpius, which was only to be expected, and Asher, Jerry, and Morgan seemed even to resent him some, but the other Potters and Weasleys were still decently friendly with Scorpius. In fact, he noticed that James Potter seemed to be keeping an eye on him.

Scorpius reasoned that their lack of hostility was due to the fact that it had been Albus who had dumped him, and not the other way around. He appreciated this, but he needed to distance himself from Albus completely, and this included his family and friends. Most of them got this message after a week or so, though both Rose and James made it clear that there were no hard feelings and if he needed something he could come to them. Scorpius did not intend to take them up on the offer, and he had the feeling that they would actually rather he didn't either, though he still noticed that James seemed to be keeping an eye on him.

_Why does everyone think I need looking after?_ Thought Scorpius in annoyance.

There was one person, however, who was more persistent.

"Scorp, Scorp, Scorpius!"

Scorpius finally relented and turned around. "Hi, Lily."

Lily smiled and hugged him. "How are you?"

Scorpius shrugged. "I'm fine. What is this about?"

"What is what about?" said Lily.

"You, talking to me right now."

Lily gave him a confused look. "I'm talking to you because we're friends. Duh."

"Lily, Albus and I broke up."

"What does that have to do with the price of flying carpets in Afghanistan?"

Scorpius blinked at her.

"You didn't think I would just stop being friends with you because you and my brother aren't dating anymore did you?" asked Lily incredulously.

"Well..."

"You did! Scorpius," Lily scolded him. "You're not going to get rid of me that easily." She grinned. "I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

Scorpius smiled in spite of himself. "Alright, Lily, I'm stuck with you. But we'll both be stuck with detention if we don't get to class. I'll see you around."

"'Bye Scorp!" said Lily, waving cheerfully.

Scorpius shook his head. Make that two people who saw him just as Scorpius. _What a girl._

*******Song Lyrics*******

_She never really ever wanted him to stay_

_He only really ever wanted her to play_

_the games he threw her way day after day_

_She thought she could_

_but then again_

_maybe she misunderstood_

_but then again _

_but then again_

_He never really ever thought he could quit_

_She tried to see what she could get out of it_

_They weren't at all a perfect fit until they split_

_He thought he could love her_

_but then again_

_she had blown his cover_

_but then again_

_but then again_

_They both had a few tricks up their sleeves_

_They both reached a stalemate to see _

_which one of them would be the first to win _

_or the first one to leave_

_They thought they could_

_but then again_

_maybe they misunderstood_

_but then again_

_Now they're both alone_

_but then again_

_they just can't stop reaching for the phone_

_but then again_

_but then again_

_but then again_

_but then again_

**AN: Yes, yes, I know the song refers to a boy and a girl, but regardless it fits the situation. At least I think so, and I hope you do too. Are you reading the song lyrics? Because I think they fit my story nicely, what do you think? And what do you think about the story in general? To answer these questions, you can review ;)**

**-SQ**


	4. Room to Breathe

**Author's Note: This chapter proved quite difficult to write. The song expresses Scorpius's thoughts and emotions so well it was difficult to elaborate on that, and it was also difficult to actually think of scenes and action for the chapter, since the song is entirely thoughts and feelings. I also love this song, so I wanted to do it justice, which I don't think I really did, but I am as satisfied with this chapter as I think I'll ever be. So here is the next chapter.**

**-SQ**

**Disclaimer: I could not have possibly come up with either Harry Potter or the song Living Alive, I'm just borrowing them.**

**Chapter Four: Room to Breathe**

Scorpius let Montague refill his glass of vodka punch and took a sip of the strong, fruity liquid. He had never much liked alcohol before; his parents only drank very fancy, very dry wine that Scorpius found bitter and not at all nice, but he'd recently discovered that mixed drinks were much more to his taste.

Scorpius did not hold his alcohol well. It only took one drink to get him tipsy, two and he was decidedly unsteady on his feet, three and he was pretty much wasted. Right now he was on his fourth.

It wasn't that he was becoming an alcoholic; he didn't drink every day, or even every other day, but most weekends someone or other in Slytherin house pulled out a few bottles of good stuff and most of the upper years had at it. Scorpius hadn't been a part of this before, but now that he didn't have Albus's group of friends to hang out with, he naturally fell in with his fellow Slytherins.

And Scorpius found that he enjoyed being drunk. It was quite impossible to worry about anything once you had a few shots of hard liquor in your system, and when he went to bed afterwards there was zero chance of being kept up by thoughts or nightmares; alcohol made him sleep like the dead. Of course, the hangovers were a bitch, but Kevin Goldstein made a Hangover Potion that worked wonders.

Kevin himself slid in beside Scorpius on the couch and looked him over. "Man are you ever gonna need one of my potions tomorrow," he said, shaking his head at the other blond. "Maybe I should start charging."

Scorpius gave his new friend an unfocused grin and lifted his glass, sloshing dark pink liquid over the side. "Awww, you wouldn' do tha'," he slurred. "You like see'ng me drunk. Free en-te-ra-tain-ment."

Kevin shook his head in amusement and took a sip of his own drink. "At least you're a happy drunk, Scorp,"

Scorpius frowned. Somewhere in the back of his alcohol-addled brain was a voice telling him that he didn't like this nickname anymore. But the idea slipped away before he could fully grasp it, and he shrugged and took another sip of his punch, as much of it ending up on the couch as in his mouth.

*****LA*****

Scorpius woke the next morning with a blinding headache.

"Kevin..." he moaned, shielding his eyes from the morning light with his hands and attempting to sit up. The movement sent a wave of nausea through him that he barely managed to contain.

"Right here," said Kevin's voice as the boy himself approached Scorpius's bed and pressed a cup into his hands.

"Not so loud," protested Scorpius, wincing at the sound of his friend's voice.

"Just drink it," commanded Kevin.

Scorpius drank. The potion tasted vile, but after a minute or two Scorpius was able to sit up without the world spinning like a top.

"I'll never see what you find so attractive about getting totally pissed." said Kevin, pulling on his trousers.

Scorpius selected a shirt from his neatly organized trunk. "It's fun. No worried, no thoughts, no inhibitions. Besides, I sleep better when I'm drunk."

Kevin shook his curly head. "Are you sure this isn't about Potter?"

"I've told you it's not," Scorpius snapped.

"Because if it is," continued Kevin, undeterred, "then you're probably playing right into his hands."

Scorpius scowled at his friend. "This doesn't have anything to do with Albus," he said. "I just like getting drunk. And I'm not 'playing into his hands'. He's not malicious, Kevin, he hasn't got a mean bone in his body. There weren't any ulterior motives on either side. We broke up. End of story."

"Right," said Kevin, sounding thoroughly unconvinced.

Scorpius mentally groaned. He and Albus had broken up two months ago and still people wouldn't let it rest. Of course "we broke up" wasn't the whole story, but not in the way people insisted on thinking. Everyone seemed to be convinced that either Albus had dumped Scorpius expecting him to return to his old masochistic ways, or that Scorpius had dumped Albus with the intention of hurting the big-hearted Gryffindor. Some even went so far as to say that one or the other of them had only dated the other so that they could "break" them. This resulted in the Slytherins either being sympathetic or congratulatory, and the Gryffindors, who mostly appeared to be of the second opinion, being hostile.

Scorpius descended the stairs into the common room.

"Sleeping beauty awakens," said Xander from the sofa, smiling at Scorpius and beckoning him over. "How did the conqueror sleep?"

"Conqueror?" said Scorpius, whose head was still feeling a little foggy; Kevin's potion was magical, not miraculous.

Xander grinned. "Of course! The only person ever to break the might Potter!"

Scorpius scowled. "Nobody broke anybody," he said. "That was never our intention."

These protests fell on deaf ears, however; it was impossible to get people to believe that the goal hadn't been to leave one of them broken. They had both sacrificed something. Albus had given up his own half of the relationship in order to break it off, something Scorpius admitted he had been unable to do. And Scorpius knew it hurt Albus to do it. At least it had then. But it hadn't been Scorpius who had hurt him. Not directly anyway, and not intentionally.

Scorpius sighed. The whole idea in breaking up with Albus was so that they would have some space. But there was barely room for Scorpius to breathe without some mention of Albus, which was making it incredibly difficult for Scorpius not to think about his ex-boyfriend.

In truth, Scorpius was still adjusting to life without Albus. It had taken him a good while to become accustomed to life _with_ the Gryffindor as his boyfriend, and now he had to un-accustom himself to it; not the easiest thing to do. He felt incomplete without Albus, as though a vital part of himself were missing, probably because so much of who he was had been shaped by the other boy. Scorpius saw couples breaking up left and right, and they always seemed to find their feet fairly quickly; so what was wrong with him?

The most frustrating thing about it was that he _liked_ his life now, he really did; he had friends, enjoyed his classes, liked most of his teachers; he was finally a normal teenager. He would have been perfectly happy, with a life that was better than he could have ever hoped just three years ago, if it wasn't for his memories of what he no longer had with Albus.

Albus himself certainly seemed to be adjusting fine. Somehow breaking up with Scorpius had turned him into a teenage heartthrob, someone girls were almost afraid to approach because of his potency, and yet whom they were inexorably drawn to.

"Er...h-hi, Albus," said a Hufflepuff third year breathlessly, gazing almost in awe into Albus's face. "I—I just wanted to tell you...great job in the Quidditch game yesterday. You were amazing."

"Er, thanks," said Albus, smiling down at the girl.

She blushed and fled back to her group of friends.

Scorpius shook his head, trying to control his laughter. They didn't know Albus at all, obviously. Albus wasn't comfortable with this hero worship thing, and he wasn't intimidating or awe-inspiring. Adorable, yes, but where had he gotten the dangerous reputation? Albus wouldn't hurt a fly.

Scorpius laughed again, this time without humor. Who was he to judge how dangerous Albus was? He was exhibit A: an example of what happened to people who got too close to the metaphoric sun which was Albus Severus Potter.

Scorpius watched Albus sit down at the Gryffindor table, surrounded by his gang of family and friends. _When will this end, Albus? _He asked silently. Every day he looked toward Albus, hoping that that would be the day that he no longer felt the pull of the other boy, no longer felt the connection between them, binding them together even at this distance; hoping that today would be the day that he could no longer feel Albus's presence when he walked into a room. So far that day hadn't come.

_We have our whole lives ahead of us, _he told himself severely. _And we're both better off without the other one to hold us back. Eventually my heart will realize that. I hope._

*****LA*****

"Scorpius," said Kevin, catching his hand as he stirred his potion, "that was twenty stirs, time to go counter-clockwise."

"Oh. Right. Thanks," said Scorpius, flushing and hurriedly turning his gaze back to his potion and away from a certain black-haired Gryffindor.

_What is your problem, Scorpius?_ He asked himself angrily. _You're like a moth with a flame; like all those other idiots who fawn over precious Potter. _He gave his potion his best Malfoy sneer. _He has no power over me anymore,_ he told himself. And, really, he could almost believe it.

*****LA*****

It was Friday afternoon. Scorpius was supposed to be in Transfiguration, but he hadn't been in the mood, so he was skipping out to take a solo stroll around the grounds. This was one of the things he had missed the most without even realizing it: having time to himself; simply being alone. Before Albus (and why did he always date things in his life as 'before Albus' and 'after Albus'?) he had, of course, been too alone, but after Albus (again. Maybe he should create a new calendar system) he had rarely had a moment to himself. He hadn't even realized how much he had missed the solitary times until he had them back.

It was late April; warm during the days but still cool in the evenings. Scorpius had changed out of his robes and only wore a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and a zip-up hoodie, as the sun had yet to go down and the air was still pleasantly warm.

Suddenly someone came up and linked arms with Scorpius.

"Would you like some company?"

Scorpius looked down at the smiling redhead.

"Shouldn't you be in class, Lily?"

"Class," said Lily with a contemptuous snort. "If you can call sitting through that old ghost's dismally boring lectures 'class'. Anyway, shouldn't _you_ be in class?"

Scorpius shrugged. "I didn't feel like going."

"Well neither did I," said Lily.

Scorpius shook his head. "I'm a bad influence on you."

"I can make my own decisions, thank you very much," said Lily sniffily. "I _am_ nearly fifteen." Then her expression softened. "How are you, Scorp?"

Scorpius smiled at her. "I'm alright."

She patted his arm. "You'll find someone else. I don't see why every gay guy in Hogwarts isn't falling over his feet to get to you first; you're by far the most beautiful boy in Slytherin house, at _least_. Probably in the entire school. I just might be interested if I didn't know you were gay.

Scorpius ruffled the girl's hair. "As flattering as that is Lily, I'll pass. And I don't think 'beautiful' is really the standard most gay guys are looking for."

Scorpius heard voices from up ahead. He and Lily rounded a corner and came upon a group of students laughing and chatting.

_Gryffindors._ Of course, the sixth year Gryffindors had a free period, and it was just Scorpius's luck that he would run into them.

The Gryffindors hadn't seen him and Lily. They were too busy paying attention to the center of their little group: Albus, who else?

Lily laid a hand on Scorpius's arm to keep him back, but there was no need. Scorpius just shook his head. The short, dark-haired boy was always surrounded by a flock of friends and admirers. Didn't he ever get tired of it? Didn't he ever just want to be alone for a little while? The other boy didn't even have to try; people gathered around him because he was just so welcoming. He invited them and they came, and all it took was a few words from the popularity king to keep them coming back. He was like a god; they worshiped him, and he reached out his hand to bless them and ensure that they would continue orbiting around him like their very own personal sun.

_Careful, _thought Scorpius darkly, _you might get burned._

Albus ran his fingers through his messy hair in a gesture that was as intimately familiar to Scorpius as the laugh that accompanied it.

It was the little things like that that Scorpius had the hardest time getting over. Not even the snogging or the sex. Just things like the way the other boy stood, weight shifted slightly onto his right hip, left arm hanging awkwardly at his side as though it were used to fitting itself around someone else's waist.

_Ah,_ thought Scorpius. _So his body hasn't completely forgotten me yet. _The thought gave him a bitter sort of satisfaction.

The crowd around Albus laughed with him. Scorpius wondered what would happen if Albus cut them all lose. Would they wander around like little lost puppy dogs? Or would Albus himself be the one to fall, when he was no longer being held up by all the others? Scorpius had never seen him without a big pack of friends and family around him, except when they had been alone together. He didn't think Albus could survive on his own. He'd like to see him try.

_That's one thing I'm better at than you_, Scorpius thought toward the black-haired boy. _Being independent._

As if he could sense the thoughts Scorpius was directing at him, Albus looked up and met the Slytherin's eyes. There was a time when Scorpius would have looked away, but now he stared back defiantly.

Albus was the first to avert his eyes. He turned back to the girl he had been talking to and said clearly, "Sure, I'd love to go to Hogsmeade with you this weekend. It's a date." And his left arm slid neatly around the girl's waist as though it had always belonged there.

Scorpius felt as though Albus had just socked him in the gut. He wrenched his arm away from Lily's grasp and took off blindly toward the castle, his only thought to get as far away from everyone else as possible.

"Scorpius! Scorp! Wait!"

Lily's feet pounded after him, but Scorpius ignored her; this had started out as a solitary walk, and right now Scorpius needed to be alone.

*****LA*****

Scorpius didn't even realize he was crying until he was back in his four-poster in the Slytherin dormitories. Until now, Albus had rejected every advance anyone had made on him, boy or girl, but now he had accepted. Another person had quite literally taken Scorpius's place by Albus's side. This finalized their break-up the way nothing else had. Scorpius realized that he had still kind of thought of Albus as his, or of himself as Albus's. But that just wasn't true anymore. And, however much he wanted to—and right now, oh how he wanted to—he couldn't take it back, couldn't rewind to when they were together. Maybe it had been a mistake, but he wasn't even sure which part of it was the mistake, or which one of them had made it, and it was certainly too late to do anything about it now.

_But oh how I wish I could just take it back... If I could just figure out what 'it' was..._

Finally, Scorpius raised his head and looked at the clock. It was early still, still time to catch dinner if he hurried, but he didn't feel like going down to the Great Hall right now, and he wasn't hungry. He pulled his pillow over his head, but sleep wouldn't come, thoughts were swirling around in his head like twigs caught in a whirlpool.

_This is why I get drunk,_ he thought, _so I don't have to think about things and I can actually get some sleep._

Predominantly his thoughts were of Albus, as they often were. In the part of his brain that could still appreciate humor he found it ironic that, in a way, he took his former boyfriend with him to bed more often now that they had broken up than he ever had when they were together. It was at these times that all the doubts surfaced. What if everything Albus had said was true? What if the things other people said were true? Had he been taking advantage of Albus? Had Albus been taking advantage of him? Maybe things would still be okay with them if he hadn't stopped meeting Albus outside Gryffindor Tower, or if he had never started meeting him there in the first place. Or if he had never taken up with Montague, or if he had made a clean break between them to begin with. Or if he had insisted that he and Albus talk it out. Maybe he hadn't fought hard enough for his boyfriend. Or maybe he had fought too hard.

In his mind Scorpius had played out all of the different scenarios a hundred times over, but every single one ended in him and Albus splitting up. Maybe they just weren't meant to be.

Scorpius sat up, resigning himself to the fact that he wouldn't be falling asleep right then. He'd simply have to move on, that was all there was to it. Secretly he had been harboring hopes that Albus still wanted him, but obviously that wasn't the case. He was dating girls now, and he would probably find them more to his taste than boys, most boys did.

Scorpius wiped his eyes; Malfoys didn't cry, and it certainly wouldn't do for Kevin and the rest of his roommates to see him like this. He had had two and a half great years with Albus. Okay, they hadn't been perfect, but they had been wonderful, and he should be thankful for that. Only, somehow, he wasn't. Sometimes Scorpius thought it would make things a lot easier if he had never known Albus in that way; never known just how wonderful he could be. Sometimes he wished the Gryffindor had never come into his life; then he wouldn't have to deal with him going out of it.

It took a long time for Scorpius to fall asleep that night, and when he finally did, he tossed and turned with restless nightmares.

*******Song Lyrics*******

_I still take you to bed, _

_but it's the you I'd face instead,_

_where I use every word I never said to crack you open._

_There was barely room to breathe_

_getting the skeptic to believe_

_that the goal wasn't to leave one of us broken._

_If it's true nothing gets close to you for fear of melting down_

_then I've become the chosen one, an example for the crowd._

_Your star is due for shooting and I'll be watching the night sky_

_in hopes that soon what binds us will come untied_

_I'm the tune of a lesser band, _

_sea legs on dry land,_

_thinking how you forfeited your hand to keep us from winning._

_I watch them orbiting around you now, _

_just like you showed them how_

_And you reach out like the hand of God, _

_a tap will keep them spinning._

_If it's true they flock to your without your shepherd's call_

_for a change just let them range and see how far you fall._

_Your star is due for shooting and I'll be watching the night sky_

_in hopes by then what binds us has come untied._

_Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh_

_Can I take it back? _

_Can I take it back now?_

_It's what the loss of our friends brings,_

_it's in the way you held my strings,_

_it's in all the little things I can't help but doubt._

_Sometimes I wish I'd never known just how brilliantly you shone_

_right before you threw the stone to cast me out._

**AN: I love this song. I think it expresses Scorpius's thoughts and feelings at this point perfectly, and I just love it anyway. I highly recommend you listen to it, since songs really aren't the same without their tunes, unless the tune is lousy, but this tune is not. I did like a million little edits on this chapter before I was anywhere close to satisfied, so tell me what you think.**

**-SQ**


	5. Human Tornado

**Author's Note: This chapter is pretty long, there was just a lot to put in it I guess. It's all Al, like the last one was all Scorp, they aren't all be like that, all one or the other, it depends on whether the song I'm using describes only one or both of them. This chapter was basically written because of the song, rather than me hearing the song and thinking it fit something I already had planned. But I think this worked out nicely. Also, there's a (het) sex scene in the chapter, still T, but a sex scene, just so you know. Anyways, less talk from me, more chapter, right? Right. Here you go.**

**-SQ**

**Disclaimer: I own Rebbecca (though not her last name) and my plot and other OCs, but the world of Harry Potter, and the song "Human Tornado" do not, have not, and will not, belong to me.**

**Chapter Five: Human Tornado**

What had started as Albus, Morgan, Jerry, Asher, and Rose enjoying their afternoon free period had turned into the entirety of the Gryffindor sixth year congregating on the castle's front lawn. Not that Albus particularly minded, he was a social person after all, but still, a little time spent with fewer than a dozen people wouldn't be amiss.

Albus cast his gaze around the crowd of Gryffindors surrounding him.

_A lot of things have changed in the past three years_, he thought, not for the first time. _A lot of things that I missed because I was too busy with Scorpius._

Though it had taken him a while, Albus was finally growing used to his new/old role at Hogwarts. He had to admit that he had missed this, being surrounded by people, focusing his attention mildly on many people instead of intently on one. Of course, the dynamics of some of the attention focused on _him_ had changed somewhat.

The group, which had been slowly moving across the grounds, came to a halt near the Forbidden Forest. Albus, who had been chatting casually with Miles Kirke, turned and found himself suddenly face-to-face with Rebbecca Matlock, a girl who sported big blue eyes and chin-length, wavy brown hair. He jumped.

"Sorry, Albus," said Rebbecca, taking a step back and smiling at him. "I didn't mean to startle you. I wanted to ask you a question."

"Ask away," said Albus, smiling back at her. He couldn't help it. She was probably the first girl in two months besides his family and Morgan to approach him without blushing or giggling or some such thing, and she was certainly very charismatic.

"I was just wondering," she said, tapping her lips with the tip of one manicured fingernail. "If you would be interested in going to Hogsmeade with me this weekend. On a date."

Albus was opening his mouth the decline the offer, as he had so many others, when something made him look up. Scorpius was standing not forty feet away, watching the group intently, an unreadable expression on his face.

_And I used to be able to read him so easily..._

Their eyes met and Albus caught his breath.

_What am I doing?_ He thought. _I keep telling myself I'm waiting, but for what? I _have_ been hoping for Scorpius and I to get back together somehow,_ he realized._ But that's simply not going to happen. It's time to move on._

He tore his gaze away from Scorpius's.

_Look around you,_ he told himself. _You have a life, Albus Potter. Live it._

He looked back at Rebbecca Matlock, who was still looking at him questioningly, finger resting on her lips.

"Sure, I'd love to go to Hogsmeade with you this weekend," he told her. "It's a date."

Rebbecca grinned, her blue eyes sparkling. Several hands patted Albus on the back and a swarm of girls moved to envelope Rebecca.

"He actually said yes!"

"It's about time, mate!"

"You are _soooooo_ lucky!"

"I was beginning to think you'd decided to remain a bachelor your whole life!"

"Why couldn't he have said yes to me?"

"Naw, he was just waiting for a girl he thought was good enough for him!"

"What are you going to wear?"

"Plenty of the ones he turned down were good enough for _me_!"

"Does this mean you're official now?"

"Hah! Seems to me like you weren't good enough for them."

"I was beginning to think maybe he was just a queer."

"They were just intimidated by my manliness!"

"How can you be so calm when you're going out with Albus Potter?"

"Oh, _sure _they were..."

Through the hubbub that had erupted around him, Albus thought he heard someone yell from over by the trees, but before he could look Rebbecca grabbed his hand.

"Walk me to dinner?"

Albus smiled at her, thanking Merlin that she did not in the least resemble Scorpius.

"My pleasure."

*****LA*****

The morning of the April Hogsmeade weekend dawned bright and clear, a sharp contrast to the rather dreary and wet days that had proceeded it.

"So, your first date with Rebbecca's today, yes?" said Asher from his bed as Albus considered his unruly hair in the mirror.

"Mmmhmm," said Albus distractedly, trying in vain to flatten the back of his black locks.

"Are you nervous?" asked Asher.

"Why should he be nervous?" said Jerry, swinging his legs over the side of his own bed. "He's the most sought after guy in the sixth year! Besides, it's just a date, he's been on dates before."

Albus paused with his hand on his head. Come to think of it, he _hadn't_ been on a date before. Not really. He and Scorpius had gone places together, sure, but they had done practically _everything_ together, so it didn't really count. And they hadn't gotten together in the most conventional way, either; Scorpius had kissed him and then run away, almost succeeding in throwing himself off a bridge before Albus had stopped him and proceeded to make-out with him in the pouring rain. No, decidedly not conventional. Unless you lived in one of those Muggle movies his Aunt Audrey liked so much. So, really, this was going to be Albus's first date, not that he was going to mention that to his friends, or to Rebbecca for that matter. Suddenly he felt decidedly more nervous.

"Er—mate? Earth to Albus?" said Asher, waving his hands in front of Albus's face enthusiastically.

Albus blinked. _I look like a bloody idiot,_ he realized. He quickly dropped his hand from his head.

"Sorry," said Albus. "Er—how do I look?" _Wow, what a girly question._

This thought was confirmed by Jerry's raised eyebrow. "Mate, your puff is showing," he said, punching Albus's shoulder gently. "You look fine. You might want to wear some shoes though. Just a thought."

"Er, right," said Albus, feeling like more of an idiot by the second.

Albus put on the recommended shoes, checked his hair in the mirror one more time, and left the dormitory for the common room.

Rebbecca was not there yet. Albus looked around the room. "Where is she? She said to meet her at ten."

James, who was sitting by the fire eating a piece of toast rolled his eyes at his brother. "Clueless. Utterly clueless. Girls are never on time. She's probably fixing her hair or putting on her make-up or some such thing."

"Oh..." said Albus.

Ten minutes later Rebbecca appeared on the girls' staircase.

"Rebbecca," said Albus, standing.

"Albus, hi," said Rebbecca, smiling at him, her blue eyes twinkling. "Are you ready?"

Albus nodded. "You look nice."

It was true. Rebbecca was dressed casually but strikingly in a cream-colored tank-top, a red button-up sweater which ended at the top of her ribcage and which she had left open, and hip-hugging jeans held up with a red leather belt.

"Thanks," said Rebbecca, kissing him on the cheek. "You look as adorable as always." She ruffled his sticking-up hair. "Are we off, then?"

"It would appear so," said Albus.

*****LA*****

Albus had never spent so much time shopping in his entire life. Rebbecca had insisted on going into nearly every store they saw, and trying out or trying on nearly every item they found there. Not that Albus especially disliked shopping, he actually found it rather fun most of the time, a far cry from James and Hugo, who faked illness whenever the mall was mentioned, but this was a little much even for him. Especially as he somehow found himself carrying all of Rebbecca's bags. Apparently this is what boyfriends did.

Other things that boyfriends did included holding mirrors for their girlfriends when they were putting on make-up, judging which color of blouse made their girlfriend look thinner, and holding their girlfriend's purse as she rifled through it for the correct change. Albus felt a little bit as though she were reading him his rights.

Still, thought Albus as he and Rebbecca sipped butterbeers and shared a box of Honeyduke's chocolate in the Three Broomsticks, all in all he'd had a rather enjoyable day.

"Oh ew," said Rebbecca, making a face at the chocolate she had just bitten into. "Raspberry."

"You don't like raspberry?" said Albus.

Rebbecca shook her head. "No. You want it?"

"Sure," said Albus, who loved raspberry.

He held out his hand for the chocolate, but instead of handing it to him, Rebbecca reached over and popped it into his open mouth.

"Oh!" said Albus in surprise, almost choking on the chocolate.

Rebbecca giggled. "You don't like it?" she asked innocently.

"Oh, no, I love it," Albus assured her. "Er—thanks."

"My mouth still tastes like it, you know," said Rebbecca, blue eyes glinting mischievously.

Albus looked at her in befuddlement for a second before what she was implying dawned on him. _She wants me to kiss her_, he realized, suddenly feeling panicked. _I've never kissed a girl before. I've never kissed anyone before besides Scorpius. _Albus took a moment to consider how pathetic that was, that he was panicking over a little kiss with Rebbecca when he and Scorpius had been screwing each other's brains out for a year and a half.

Albus licked his lips. _Come on you twit,_ he scolded himself. _It's just a kiss!_

Rebbecca's eyebrows were raised questioningly.

"Does it now?" said Albus, leaning forward.

Rebbecca too leaned forward, closing the gap between their lips. She was right, her mouth did still taste like raspberry-filled chocolate, that and her bubble-gum flavored lip gloss. A strange combination. Her lips were fuller than Scorpius, and rounder, but more firm, and stickier, though that was probably just the lipgloss...

_Stop comparing her to Scorpius!_

The subtle movements of the girl's lips sent tingles through Albus. Damn, this girl was good at kissing.

They broke apart.

Rebbecca brushed a stray lock of hair back behind her ear. "You taste like chocolate," she teased, reaching over and wiping a smudge of Albus's lip.

"So do you," said Albus, feeling slightly giddy from the kissing in combination with all the sugar he had consumed that day. "You're one hell of a kisser."

Rebbecca gave him a half shrug. "I've had practice. You're not half bad yourself," she added with a wink.

*****LA****

Girls, Albus had discovered, were rather different than boys. Rebbecca was much more open about her feelings than Scorpius had ever been, not in a sappy, obnoxious way, but just in a not-beat-around-the-bush way. It was nice not to be constantly trying to guess what was going on in his partner's mind; if Rebbecca was thinking something, she simply came out and told him. Everyone had always told Albus that girls were complicated, but Rebbecca seemed very straightforward, at least compared to Scorpius.

_You're doing it again,_ Albus chided himself. Albus guessed it was only natural to compare his current girlfriend to his former boyfriend, but he was trying his best not to. It wasn't working very well. Still, when Albus was with her he felt, well, happy. Not the 'head-over-heals in love' feeling he had had with Scorpius, but an "I'm having a lot of fun" kind of feeling. He had kind of been in a gloomy slump since he had dumped Scorpius, but Rebbecca had come and cut right through his gloom; it was simply impossibly to be glum around her. And the fact that their time together usually involved a large amount of chocolate and kissing didn't hurt either.

That wasn't to say that Albus was completely over Scorpius. He still felt a jolt in his gut whenever he saw the blond in class or in the halls, or heard someone casually mention his name. He still found himself biting his lip whenever anything reminded him especially of something he had shared with his ex-boyfriend. But Rose had been right when she had told him that moping around wasn't going to help. As long as Albus kept busy—with Rebbecca, with his friends, with his school work—he had little time to dwell on any lingering feelings he may or may not have had for the gray eyed Slytherin.

*****LA*****

Three weeks after he started dating Rebbecca Albus had to admit that he was really starting to fall for this vivacious, fun-loving girl.

"Al! Al! Alby!" she called, giving the door a perfunctory knock before she barged into the sixth year boys' dormitory.

"Becca!" said Albus. "I could have been undressed!"

"That's kind of what I was hoping for," said Rebbecca with a wink. She traced her fingers playfully across Albus's chest.

Albus rolled his eyes, knowing that his girlfriend was teasing.

Rebbecca planted a light kiss on Albus's mouth. "What's the deal? Why are you still up here?"

"I have a migraine," said Albus.

Rebbecca pouted. "Poor Alby." She sat him down on his bed. "Maybe you should eat something."

"I'm not hungry, Becca," said Albus.

"That may be," said Rebbecca. "But it could help your migraine."

"I doubt it," said Albus. "I just didn't sleep well is all." Not that he usually slept well, or at least he hadn't over the past couple months, which was probably why he so often woke with migraines.

"You won't know until you try," said Rebbecca.

"Alright, alright," said Albus, giving in. "Give me a minute."

Half an hour later Albus had to admit that breakfast had been a good call on Rebbecca's part, well, that and the make-out session they had had in his dormitory before they left, which had taken his mind completely off of any part of his body above his lips or below his thighs.

In fact, Rebbecca had the habit of taking his mind off of things. Like when he was trying to study for example.

"Alby, you've been working on that assignment for hours."

"Don't be ridiculous, Becca," said Albus. "It hasn't been hours. And it's a different assignment."

"Don't you think it's time to take a break?" she asked, lacing her fingers through his unruly hair.

"Not if he wants to get this done by Thursday," said Rose crossly.

"Nonsense," said Rebbecca, leaning closer, so that Albus could smell her fruity perfume. "He has ages to complete it. Besides, you're already the top of that class, aren't you Alby?."

"Well..." said Albus, faltering, "yes, I am..."

"Albus," said Rose reprovingly, shooting an annoyed look at Rebbecca. "This assignment is very important."

Rebbecca pouted.

Albus put down his quill. "I suppose taking a little break wouldn't hurt..."

*****LA*****

Rebbecca breezed easily into Albus's dormitory.

"Alby, where's that book you told me I could borrow?"

"It's right—oh, Becca, really," said Albus as Rebbecca began to rifle through his trunk. "It's not even in there..."

"Oh! Aren't these darling!" said Rebbecca holding up, much to Albus's embarrassment, a pair of tie-dye boxers for the entire dormitory to see. The rest of the boys sniggered.

"Lily made them for me at summer camp a couple years ago," he mumbled.

"Oh dear," said Rebbecca, still looking through Albus's things. "This though, this really has to go."

"I like that shirt," Albus protested.

"Tsk, the Weird Sisters? Really?" said Rebbecca. "No, no, no. Ancient history. This too," she added, holding up one of Albus's favorite sweatshirts. Out, out, out. This, however," she said, pulling out an iridescent polo shirt that Albus had gotten for Christmas from his Aunt Fleur and never wore. _This_ is cool. We'll just slick back your hair"—she flattened his hair with her hand experimentally—"and violá!"

*****LA*****

"Albus, _what_ are you wearing?"

"Clothes," said Albus defensively, scowling at his little sister.

"Hmph," said Lily. "Depends on your definition."

"For your information, this is the height of fashion," said Albus haughtily.

"Right..." said Lily, sounding thoroughly unconvinced.

"Oh what do you know?" snapped Albus.

"Albus, this isn't like you," said Lily. "Since when do you care about what's the 'height of fashion'?"

Albus shifted uncomfortably. "Since now, okay?"

"It's that girl," said Lily. "She's changed you."

"_She_ has a name, Lily, it's Rebbecca, and I've changed myself, I'm growing up, that's all."

"Well I don't like it much," said Lily, and stalked off.

*****LA*****

Recently, Rebbecca had taken to becoming a lot more physical during their make-out sessions.

"Mmmm," she murmured as she rubbed herself up and down against Albus's body, pressing him further into the hard stone wall behind him. "Alby, you're delicious, you know that?" She didn't seem to expect a response, which was a good thing, because Albus wasn't at all sure if he would have been able to give her one. The wall behind him wasn't the only thing that was hard.

Rebbecca peeled herself back from him. "It's time for dinner," she said, letting her hands linger on his chest before completely righting herself and grabbing his hand, pulling him away from the stone. "We don't want to be late. I'm hungry."

_I'm hungry too,_ thought Albus, _but not for food._

*****LA*****

It was all Albus could do to keep up with his girlfriend, she was a regular whirlwind. Whether they were in Hogsmeade or on the Quidditch pitch (she was a Chaser), or making out, or simply studying in the library or hanging out in the common room, she moved at a such a pace that Albus was amazed that she didn't simply fall over from exhaustion.

_She's going to give me a heart attack,_ he thought.

"You've got to be on top of everything," she told him as she tossed a magazine at him, "or else you'll get left in the dust. We're Mr. and Mrs. Popularity right now; we want to stay that way, right?"

"Er—right," said Albus.

"Of course," she said, a coy gleam coming into her eyes, "there's always time for a bit of fun."

She threw aside the magazine and moved so that she was straddling Albus, her hands dipping inside his shirt to caress his Quidditch-hardened muscles. She had done this countless times before, teasing him until he was nearly at his breaking point and then getting up and walking away with a spring in her step. This time, however, there was a different look in her blue eyes.

"Becca, it's the middle of the day in the dormitory, anyone could walk in—"

"I know," she purred, leaning forward and beginning to unbutton his shirt. "Isn't it exciting?"

Albus shuddered as her fingers moved to his trousers, making quick work of his belt.

"Becca—" he started, but his protests were cut off by her mouth, complete with tongue. Suddenly his worries didn't seem nearly as important.

Rebbecca slid his trousers and pants down his thighs while simultaneously wriggling out of her miniskirt and lacy panties. She threw the discarded garments carelessly on the floor and reached her hands down to stroke him into readiness. This was hardly necessary, as Albus was already just about as taught as he could get. Rebbecca moved her arms to encircle his neck and lowered herself onto his eager fullness.

It was mindblowing. Obvious Rebbecca knew what she was doing; every move she made brought Albus to a point of ecstasy formerly unknown to him. Nothing could be better than this, he was sure of it. He was hers, wholly and completely hers, and he told her so in no uncertain terms. She just smiled and accepted the sentiment, delivering bliss in a way Albus had never even known was possible. _Oh Merlin,_ thought Albus, beyond any rational thought, _Oh fucking Merlin..._

*****LA*****

The next day, she dumped him.

"It was fun and all, Alby, but where else can we go, right? Time to move on, see new sights, taste new tastes, experience new sensations. No hard feelings, of course."

"But—but—" stuttered Albus. "I—we—I think I love you..."

"No, no, no" said Rebbecca, waving a hand dismissively. "That's not love, it's lust. Trust me, it gets boring if you do it too many times with the same person. Oh, and, by the way, Alby, there can only be _one_ most popular couple in school, so watch your back." And, with a wink and a wave, she was gone.

Albus stared at the door dumbly.

_Fool, fool, fool! You did it again! You let yourself get tied around someone's little finger, let yourself become so attached that it clouded your judgment. Well, not any longer,_ he decided, tucking his broken heart away where it wouldn't pain him. _I'm not going to let her beat me that easily._

*****LA*****

"Al," said Rose, coming up to him and laying a hand on his arm. "Al, that was really rotten of her. Do you need to talk?"

Albus shook her off. "No, I'm fine. It's not a big deal, right? I've been through a break-up before. No big deal. He grinned at her, but it was forced.

"Albus, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Rose, I'm fine," said Albus. "It's not like I was in _love _with her or anything."

*****LA*****

Unfortunately, it seemed for a while like Rebbecca _was_ going to beat him that easily. Dating Albus Potter had given Rebbecca Matlock's popularity a hefty boost, a boost that it didn't seem to have lost now that they were no longer together. Albus had always been effortlessly popular, and he hadn't really given it much thought, but now Rebbecca was beating him at his own game and he didn't like it.

The last thing Rebbecca had said to him before she had seemed to forget about his very existence came back to him _"There can only be on most popular couple in the school."_

_That's it, _thought Albus. _Most popular couple. I need a girlfriend; all of the most popular celebrities have a girlfriend, sometimes more than one._

Albus wasn't prepared to go quite that far, but he was going to find himself a girl. He wasn't about to make the mistake of actually getting attached to his girlfriend again though. He cast around the Great Hall, running his hand absently over his slicked back hair. Who was the prettiest, most popular girl in the school, besides Rebbecca of course?

His eye fell on a tall, thin, buxom, bottled blond sitting at the Ravenclaw table. Her name was Veronica Bebly and she looked like a life size barbie doll. Perfect.

Albus sauntered over to the Ravenclaw table and stood in front of Veronica Belby, resting one hand on the tabletop. The girl glanced up at him.

"Hey," he said, flashing her a smile that he had spent hours perfecting in front of the mirror, coached by James.

"Hi," said Veronica, a smile tugging at her brilliantly red lips.

"There's a Gryffindor versus Slytherin Quidditch match coming up, last match of the season, who will you be rooting for for the cup?"

"I dunno," said Veronica coyly. "Depends on who gives me the best incentive."

"What if I make you my personal cheerleader?" asked Albus. "Complete with perks, of course."

Veronica's smile widened, exposing perfect white teeth. "Gryffindor it is."

From across the Hall, a small, red-headed Gryffindor fourth-year glared daggers at her older brother before sighing sadly and exciting the room, no longer feeling hungry.

*******Song Lyrics*******

_Before you know it, there she is _

_running up on you like a fast gin fizz_

_throwing away every goddamn care_

_Next thing you know she'll be doubling your dare_

_Nothing's gonna stop this little girl, from tearing up the whole great ass-kicking world_

_She's a dynamic, acrobatic, instamatic human tornado_

_She'll rip through your room, she's a human tornado_

_She'll cut through your gloom, she's a human tornado_

_She'll forecast your doom, she's a human tornado_

_And now she's giving you a heart attack,_

_and you don't know if you can pick up her slack._

_You toss and turn every night and day,_

_she came into your dreams and now you've gotta pay_

_She's a never stopping, bar hopping, power-shopping human tornado_

_She'll turn on your lights, she's a human tornado_

_She'll read you your rights, she's a human tornado_

_She'll twist up your kites, she's a human tornado_

_She'll blow you around, she's a human tornado_

_She'll wipe off your frown, she's a human tornado_

_She'll never come down, she's a human tornado_

_She'll derail your train, she's a human tornado_

_She'll cure your migraine, she's a human tornado_

_She'll unclog your drain, she's a human tornado_

_She'll ransack your heart, she's a human tornado_

_She'll make you feel smart, she's a human tornado_

_She'll sell all your art, she's a human tornado_

_She'll forget your name, she's a human tornado_

_She'll win at your game, she's a human tornado_

_She's one righteous dame, she's a human tornado_

**AN: See, Al wasn't really being a git when he accepted Rebbecca; he wasn't doing it to spite Scorp. They're coping with things a little bit differently, huh? Well, they're two very different people.**

**Any comments are welcome, as always. Thanks :) **

**-SQ**


	6. Visits to You

**Author's Note: There has been a small time skip to the beginning of Albus and Scorpius's seventh year.**

**-SQ**

**Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form own, possess, or claim the rights to Harry Potter or the song "Visits to You"**

**Chapter Six: Visits to You**

The moment Scorpius stepped through the barrier onto platform 9 ¾ he was hit by what seemed to be a brightly colored, redheaded whirlwind.

"Scorp!"

Scorpius carefully extricated himself from Lily's clutches and smiled down at the fifteen-year-old.

"Hello, Lily."

"How was your summer?" asked Lily.

Scorpius shrugged. "Same as always. Yours?"

Lily wrinkled her nose. "House was overrun with morons. I spent most of my time with Hugo."

"Morons" was Lily's term for most of Albus's friends and girlfriends and she went out of her way to make herself as different from her brother's 'in-crowd' as possible. Right now she was dressed in garish pink and orange striped tights, a black tulle skirt, a hot pink, self-bedazzled cardigan t-shirt, black fishnet elbow gloves, and clunky orange sneakers. Her red hair was held in place by a myriad of different hair clips. She wore no make-up, but there was a temporary tattoo of a butterfly on her left cheekbone. At least Scorpius hoped it was temporary.

"Is that—?"

"It's temporary," said Lily. "Unfortunately. Mum won't let me get a real one."

Scorpius shook his head. "You are one strange girl, Lily."

It was Lily's turn to shrug. "I dare to be different, that's all. Unlike _them_."

Lily glared in the direction of three sixth year Gryffindors. They all wore matching skin-tight tank tops in different but complimentary colors, rib-cage length denim jackets, denim mini-skirts, and high-healed pumps which matched their tank tops. All three wore their highlighted hair in high ponytails, secured with hair bands that (again) matched their tank tops. All three of them were currently engaged in flirting with Albus Potter.

"Come on, Scorp," said Lily, "let's find a compartment."

Scorpius knew what she was doing; she was trying to distract him from looking at Albus. Scorpius ignored her and turned his scrutiny on the black haired Gryffindor.

Albus was dressed in designer jeans and an over-sized (and probably over-priced) t-shirt. His hair was slicked back and a fat ring gleamed on his left middle finger. As Scorpius watched, Albus threw back his head and laughed at something one of the girls had said.

It struck Scorpius suddenly that both he and Albus had only one year left at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. One more year of study and preparation before they went...wherever they went.

Once upon a time—only last year, and yet sometimes it seemed like it was in another life—Albus had been Scorpius's boyfriend.

_You wouldn't know that now_, thought Scorpius wryly_, not the way he flirts with all those girls. I wonder which one will be his girlfriend this month?_

A lot of things about Albus had changed since they had broken up: his style of dress, the people he hung out with, the way he acted... In a lot of ways that made it easier. Scorpius could still treasure his memories of Albus without aching over the boy—well, the young man—he saw in front of him.

_And who I won't see in front of me for very much longer_, Scorpius realized, and the glances that he knew he wouldn't be able to keep from throwing Albus's way in the corridors suddenly took on a whole new meaning. Scorpius had thought that when they had broken up he was losing Albus from his life, but really he was still there. Scorpius saw him every day, just like he had for six years. Six years of accidental meetings, six years of brief, necessitated visits; in classrooms, in corridors, in teachers' offices, in the Great Hall. For the bad, the good, and the neutral, six years of Albus Potter as a constant in his life.

_I have this year and then that's it..._ thought Scorpius, _no more Albus. Probably ever. I have no idea what he plans to do with his life, and the world is a hell of a lot bigger than Hogwarts. _

Scorpius didn't even know how he felt about Albus anymore, but he knew that every memory of him was important, every time he saw him meant something, though he didn't know quite what. Because one of those memories, one of those moments, would eventually be the last, and he probably wouldn't even know it was until after the fact. And Scorpius had been close enough to losing everything to know that he wanted to lose nothing.

"Oi! Earth to Scorpius! Let's go find a compartment before they're all full!" Lily was tapping her foot impatiently. "What do you want to waste time looking at those morons for anyway? It kills brain cells."

Scorpius glanced once more at Albus, adding the image to his mental scrapbook, and then allowed Lily to drag him off to the train.

*****LA*****

It had taken Scorpius a little bit of time to find his feet after he and Albus had split, but now he had a nice group of Slytherin friends, and he was really rather proud of the fact. It was nothing like Albus's network of popularity, but Scorpius didn't want that kind of notoriety anyway; he had never quite gotten over the idea that the center of attention was inherently a bad place to be. Scorpius and his friends took most of the same classes, studied together, and got drunk together on the weekends. And he trusted them. No, they didn't have heart-felt discussions of their feelings (they were _Slytherins_ for Merlin's sake) but they knew they had each other's backs. That was enough.

There were four in the group, not including Scorpius: Kevin Goldstein, Haley Davis, Fletcher Higgs, and Tatiana Carrow.

"Scorpius, mate," said Fletcher as the five of them sat down in the Slytherin common room and hauled out their Charms books. "What you need is a boyfriend."

Scorpius raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. "Are you offering yourself for the job?"

"No way, man!" said Fletcher hurriedly. "This stud is one hundred percent female friendly. But I know there are a couple blokes in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff who have been eying you."

"Well I'm here if they're interested. What's stopping them?"

"You are!" said Haley.

"Me?"

"Yes you. You're always so...aloof, you're scaring them off. Don't you _want_ to get some?"

"Well I wouldn't be opposed to it," said Scorpius carefully.

"Then act a little more inviting, courting you's like courting an iceberg," said Tatiana.

"I'm a Malfoy, we're not exactly known for being warm and cuddly."

"True," admitted Kevin, "but it wouldn't hurt you to turn down the ice factor a notch or two."

"I'll think about it," said Scorpius.

*****LA*****

Scorpius did think about it. If nothing else, he was curious who these "blokes" were who were supposedly eying him. In the Great Hall the next evening he glanced around to see whether he could catch anyone looking at him. As his eyes passed over the Hufflepuff table a sixth year boy near the end caught his eye. He was a bit scruffy-looking, but in a sexy way: messy black hair, tanned skin, a bit of stubble. Yum. The boy's blue-green eyes widened as he realized Scorpius was looking at him. Scorpius tilted his head questioningly. Color rose to the Hufflepuff's cheeks, but he didn't look away.

Scorpius went back to his dinner, but when he left the Great Hall half an hour later, the Hufflepuff was waiting for him in the entrance hall.

"You were looking at me during dinner," said the Hufflepuff without preamble.

"I believe you were looking at me first," Scorpius pointed out.

The Hufflepuff nodded his head in acquiescence. Scorpius waited. He tried to give off an air of expectant superiority, but really he was just baffled about how to proceed. After all, the way he had gotten together with Albus hadn't been exactly your run-of-the-mill procedure.

The Hufflepuff's face broke into a smile. "You don't know how to do this, do you?"

_Damnit._

"Well, no, not exactly," said Scorpius.

The Hufflepuff's smile widened. "I guess it's up to me then. Would you like to go on a date sometime?"

Scorpius considered it. He was rather surprised when he found that the answer was yes.

"Yes," said Scorpius, "I would."

Now the Hufflepuff was positively beaming. "Great. I'm Dean by the way, Dean Summerby. How does Friday evening sound?"

Scorpius smiled slowly back at him. "That sounds perfect. I can introduce you to the weekend, Slytherin style.

*****LA*****

Friday evening after dinner Dean accompanied Scorpius back to the Slytherin common room.

"Man, this is cool." he said, turning his head left and right to look around at the dungeon passages. "It's like a trippy maze. How do you Slytherins ever memorize how to get around here without getting lost?"

Scorpius chuckled, remembering the first time he had brought Albus down here. He had been so worried about Albus getting lost on his way back, until Albus had pulled out his magical map of Hogwarts and proven to Scorpius that he really didn't need help figuring out how to get anywhere.

Dean waved a hand in front of Scorpius's face. "Scorpius? Hello?"

"Oh, sorry," said Scorpius. "I was just...what were you saying?"

"How do you Slytherins find your way through all these dungeon passageways?"

Scorpius smirked a Slytherin smirk. It felt fake. "Trade secret."

"Fine, have it your way," said Dean, pouting adorably.

"Here we are," said Scorpius as they arrived at the entrance to the Slytherin common room. "I'm going to say the password, plug your ears."

Dean pouted some more, but complied.

Scorpius spoke in a low voice. "Superiority."

Dean uncovered his ears and the two of them stepped into the Slytherin common room. Dean stared around wide-eyed.

"This is the first time I've been in another house's common room," he said. "It's cool, but I wouldn't want to live here."

Scorpius shrugged. "You don't have to."

He scanned the room and soon found his group of friends in a circle of chairs close to the fire.

"Hey," said Haley, "who's the hunk?"

"Dean Summerby," said Scorpius. "My date."

All four of his friends' eyebrows shot up.

"Scorpius has a date?"

"I am capable of having a date," said Scorpius with a touch of annoyance.

"Maybe he'll be less hormonal now that he has an outlet," said Tatiana.

Scorpius ignored her.

Fletcher reached into his bag and pulled out two full bottles of rum, a bottle of sparking water, and some bottles of flavoring. "First round, anyone?"

Scorpius readily accepted the drink Fletcher mixed for him and immediately began to feel the tension slide out of him. Ah... he glanced over at Dean, who was sampling his own drink, and raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Mmm," said Dean. "Very...interesting."

"A Fletcher Higgs original," said Fletcher proudly.

Two drinks later, Scorpius was sitting in a green armchair, Dean in his lap, hands clumsily unbuttoning the Hufflepuff's shirt.

"Mmmm," slurred Scorpius, "you smell good..."

Dean stiffened in surprise for a moment as Scorpius pressed his face into his chest and inhaled deeply, but then he laced his fingers through Scorpius's hair and arched against him.

"He's a lot more friendly with a few drinks in him, isn't he?" said Kevin, winking at Dean.

"Most definitely," said Dean as Scorpius's fingers played with the waistband of his jeans.

Scorpius ordered his brain off as pressed his chest against Dean's. _Don't think, just feel._ Scorpius thought too much, his friends always told him so. _"You overthink things, Scorpius. Stop thinking so much, Scorpius. Save thinking for the classroom, Scorpius." _It was a lot easier not to think with a few drinks in him. He could just enjoy the sensation of Dean's chest pressed into his, the strained material of the crotch of Dean's jeans under his fingers. _Don't think, feel._

*****LA*****

Scorpius and Dean didn't go all the way that first night, but it wasn't too long before they did. It was the Hufflepuff's first time, and it was Scorpius's first time with anyone besides Albus. He didn't let himself think about that though. He didn't let himself think about anything. The only thing Scorpius was conscious of was the heat of Dean's bare skin against his own, the softness of Dean's lips, and the hot, slick, wetness as he slid himself inside of the other boy. And the best part was, if he didn't think, it could be anyone's body underneath him, anyone's black hair clutched in his fingers, anyone's piercing greenish eyes staring into his own...

_Fuck dogs, sex and booze are a man's best friend._

*****LA*****

Scorpius had every single class with Albus. Of course he did, when they had chosen their N.E.W.T. courses at the end of their fifth year they had still been dating.

Scorpius watched Albus flip open his Transfiguration book just exactly the way he had hundreds of times before and wondered just how many more times he would see him flip open his Transfiguration book in exactly that manner.

He watched Albus cut up ginger root, a common Potions ingredient, and wondered if this time was just another time, or if it would be the last time he would see Albus do that.

He watched Albus enter the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom with a strange sense of deja vu. Scorpius had been here so many times before, but would he ever be in this exact situation again? Each day the chances grew slimmer. Vaguely Scorpius wondered where Albus would be going once he left school. Scorpius knew that eventually his memories of his schooldays would fade and meld together, and his memories of Albus with them. Now each individual instance was still fresh in his mind, but that wouldn't always be the case; he wanted it to last as long as possible.

*****LA*****

Scorpius ran a hand through his long blond hair as he watched Albus making out showily with his latest arm candy in the corridor; a skinny brunette who stuffed her bra and wore too much make-up. He and Albus had kissed in this very corridor. It might not have been as fun to watch as the current exhibition, but it had sure been fun to do. Though Scorpius had to admit they were both probably much better kissers now than they had been back then, and Albus better than him, since he'd kissed more people. It didn't bother Scorpius to see Albus kissing someone else. He kissed a new girl practically every other week; it didn't seem any more meaningful to Scorpius than a kiss in a play. Besides, Albus of the present interested him only in the ways that he reminded him of Albus of the past, and in the idea that Scorpius's time in which they were present in each other's lives was limited. It was a great thing, really, being able to feel only what you allowed yourself to feel.

Lily came down the corridor.

"Ugh, revolting," she said loudly enough that the snogging couple was sure to have heard.

Scorpius chuckled. "I dunno. It's kind of hot, actually."

Lily made a face. "Please, Scorp, I just ate lunch."

"What about you, Lils?" asked Scorpius. "Don't you ever want a boyfriend?"

"Not any of the idiots at this school," said Lily.

Scorpius shook his head. "You might like it if you just tried it, Lily."

"I don't want to 'just try it', Scorp," said Lily, becoming serious. "I don't want to have a boyfriend just to have a boyfriend. When I date someone I want it to be because I really truly like him, and he really truly likes me. That's what a relationship should be about. Not just snogging or sex or popularity. It should be about love, and trust, and understanding."

Scorpius shifted. That kind of sentiment made him uncomfortable.

Scorpius looked back over at Albus. The past didn't matter, and the future wasn't important; this was about living for right now. That's all anyone could do, right? After all, Scorpius couldn't change what had happened between him and Albus Potter, and he knew for a fact that he would never completely forget about the other boy for as long as he lived; he wasn't sure if he completely wanted to. No one really knew how long anything lasted in this world, Scorpius had come close enough to dying to know that. All he could do was make the most of what he had at that moment, and make himself believe that that was enough.

******Song Lyrics******

_Visits to you are suddenly new_

_and suddenly everything's sacred_

_I've been here before, will I be here again?_

_Please tell me you'll never be taken._

_Is this another time, or is this the last time?_

_How much more time?_

_When will time take away my visits to you?_

_Living with this, holding your hand_

_knowing I'll have to let go soon._

_Living right now, right now, and right now._

_knowing I'll soon be without you._

_Is this another time, or is this the last time?_

_How much more time?_

_When will time take away my visits?_

_And when you go where you're going,_

_where will you be going?_

_I know I'll keep going on my visits to you._

_Is this another time, or is this the last time?_

_How much more time?_

_When will time take away my visits..._

_Is this another time, or is this the last time?_

_How much more time?_

_When will time take away _

_When will time take away_

_When will time take away my visits to you?_

**AN: The real story behind this song is that it is about Anthony Rapp's mother dying. I don't want to belittle that by using it in the way I use it here, but I'm using all and only songs on this album. And it does work.**

**-SQ**


	7. Out, Out, Damn Spot

**Author's Note: This song is very, very strange. It's even stranger with the music; as always I encourage you to find it online & listen to it. And yes, I am aware for any Shakespeare nerds out there that the quote itself is not correct but rather the vastly common misquotation, but it's the title of the song, so what can I do?**

**This chapter is again all Al POV. As in the last Al chapter, it picks up right where the last chapter (Scorp's POV) left off.**

**Disclaimer: Really, isn't the word kind of self-explanatory?**

**Chapter Seven: Out, Out, Damn Spot**

Albus wrapped his arms more tightly around Gretchen Spimoni's too skinny waist, feeling her hip bones digging into his forearms as he let his hands roam over her non-existent ass. Her tongue and lipstick smeared lips greedily lapped and sucked at his own in a very showy, practiced manner. Both participants were perfectly aware of the large audience that had gathered to watch them in the corridor, and they were trying to make the entertainment as worthwhile as possible for the spectators.

Finally, after several minutes, they drew apart, Albus casually flicking his hair back into place and Gretchen straightening the skimpy tank top which was revealed by her open robes. Gretchen and Albus each threw a wave to the crowd surrounding them in the corridor, which drew back as they strode, Gretchen clinging to Albus's arm, his other arm encircling her bony waist, through their midst and disappeared around the corner.

The couple stopped for several more showy make-out sessions on their way to Ravenclaw Tower, where Albus dropped Gretchen off with a last, lingering kiss.

Albus had a free period before Defense Against the Dark Arts. Feeling suddenly exhausted, he made use of several short-cuts and secret passageways and arrived back at Gryffindor Tower without meeting anyone else.

*****LA*****

Albus sat at his bedside table, studying himself in the mirror. A suave, slightly scruffy young man with a perpetual five o'clock shadow looked back at him out of lazy green eyes from under slicked back black hair. He sighed and turned the mirror away from him, rubbing at his mouth, where he imagined he could still feel Gretchen Spimoni's thick, red lipstick. He hated the feel of lipstick; it was so sticky and chalky. And he hated how it tasted too, like wet dust. He checked the mirror again, but his mouth was lipstick free. He rubbed at it again anyway, just to be sure.

Albus checked the clock and swore. It was already time for Defense Against the Dark Arts and he hadn't even started on the homework. He never used to have problems completing his Defense homework, it was his best class, and if he did have homework questions he would always just ask Rose. But he hadn't needed to for this, it wasn't even difficult; he had looked it over and known he could do it. He just...hadn't. Where had the time gone?

Well, it was too late to do anything about it now; he would just have to go to class without his homework. Albus picked up his schoolbag and slung it over his shoulder, checked his hair and mouth one more time in the mirror, and then left the dormitory at a jog.

*****LA*****

Albus slid into his seat just as the bell rang, signaling the start of class. He grinned easily at Gretchen, whose seat was right in front of his. She grinned back and turned around to lay her hands in his lap. Albus responded automatically by lifting his own hands to Gretchen's chest, barely registering the feel of the hard little nubs surrounded by layers of soft padding under his fingertips.

"Did you do your homework?" asked Gretchen in a seductive whisper. Why was she asking about homework seductively?

Albus shook his head.

"D'you wanna copy mine?"

Albus glanced guiltily across the room at Rose; she heavily disapproved of copying.

"Yeah, alright, thanks."

Albus hastily scribbled Gretchen's answers down on his own sheet of parchment, knowing even as he did so that half the answers were wrong. A 50 was better than a 0 though, and he didn't have time to do the work for himself. As it was, he was barely finished when the professor came by and collected his work.

*****LA*****

On his way to dinner Albus passed Lily in the corridor. Albus avoided meeting her eye, knowing that if he did all he would see was disdain. He had used to have a very good relationship with his little sister, especially while he and Scorpius were dating, but now she wouldn't even talk to him. Not that they would have had anything to talk about.

Not looking where he was going, Albus didn't see the girl rounding the corner until he crashed headlong into her, sending both her and her things sprawling on the floor.

"Oh!" said Albus, feeling like a world-class-idiot. "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."

"That's alright," said the girl shyly, climbing to her feet and dusting herself off. Albus bend down and gathered up her things and then handed them back to her.

"Here."

"Thank you."

Albus started. The girl, who looked to be about fourteen or fifteen, had the most stunning eyes he had ever seen. They were big and deep and brown like cocoa, with flecks of green and gold swirling about in their centers like stars in a faraway galaxy. Albus realized he was staring. He swallowed and looked hastily away, his heart pounding inexplicably fast.

"Er—are you okay?" he asked.

The girl bobbed her head shyly, peering up at him through her red-gold bangs, her fair cheeks flushing.

"Do you—do you mind if I walk with you to dinner, A-Albus?"

Uh oh.

Albus shook his head. "No, I think you'd better not," he said firmly, even though he wished for nothing more than to be able to say yes. "Goodbye."

Albus started purposefully down the corridor, but the pretty girl's voice stopped him again.

"Wait!"

He turned and she blushed again, staring at the floor.

"I—I—my name's Sarah. Sarah Ann Copper."

"Goodbye, Sarah."

"Wait!"

Against his better judgment, Albus turned again.

"Since we're both going to dinner it would be kind of silly not to walk together, right?" Sarah said quickly, staring at the floor and scuffing her toe against the stone.

Albus had to admit she had a point.

"Alright then," he said, forcing him not to stare at the way her red-gold hair fell just into her eyes. "Let's go then."

The two of them walked into the Great Hall and to the Gryffindor table, where Albus made sure to choose a seat as far away as possible from Sarah Copper. Unfortunately this put him nearly across from her, and he spent the entire meal desperately trying to avoid catching her eye.

*****LA*****

After his first meeting with Sarah, Albus seemed to see her everywhere. In the library, in the corridors, in the Great Hall, on the grounds, in the common room, coming out of a class he was going into, going into a class he was coming out of; it seemed whenever he looked up there she was; it was as bad as it had been with Scorpius those first few weeks after they had broken up.

Sarah would always smile shyly at him, blushing behind her red-gold hair. And Albus would always avert his gaze, pretending he didn't see her. It wasn't that he didn't like her; he liked her immensely. What he felt when he looked at her...he hadn't felt anything like that since Rebbecca, and before her, Scorpius. It would be the easiest thing in the world to respond to her blatantly obvious feelings for him. But she was so sweet, so pure, so innocent, and he was... Well, he didn't know _what_ he was, but he wasn't any of those things, not anymore, and he wasn't safe for her. She reminded him of himself in a way, how he had been back in his second or third year; trusting, innocent, oblivious, and, judging by the way she continued to seek him out him even after his many rebuffs, just a little dense.

A memory suddenly leapt to Albus's mind: he was eleven years old, it was Christmas break and he and Lily and James had all gone to the park. It was a gorgeous winter day, cold and clear, with a bright yellow sun hanging in the sky overhead. Albus had had some leftover breadcrumbs in his pocket from the roll his mother hand packed in his lunch. He had thrown them on the ground and a great flock a pigeons had come swooping down around his head, the sun glinting off their iridescent feathers in much the same manner as the sun glinted off of Sarah Copper's red-blond hair...

Albus shook his head sharply to clear it of the image. Perhaps if he and Sarah had met then, before all of Albus's many meaningless girlfriends, before Rebbecca Matlock had played him for a fool, even before, perhaps, his life had been forever changed by Scorpius Malfoy, perhaps if Albus had met Sarah then, then things would be different. Maybe. But not now. Now, not ever.

What did she see in him anyway? Did she truly like the Albus Potter who sauntered and strutted through the halls of Hogwarts like the king of coolsville? Or did she see something of who Albus used to be? Used to be when? Before Rebbecca? Before Scorpius? Whichever it was, didn't she know that that person—those people—didn't exist anymore?

*****LA*****

Albus sat in the Gryffindor common room, surrounded by his friends, prattling on about something or other that only half his brain was paying attention to. A bunch of the guys laughed and Albus guessed he must have said something funny. He didn't know, he'd already forgotten what it was. There was a girl on his lap. Gretchen? No, they had broken up two days ago. Or was it three? Someone else then, he couldn't remember her name. This was supposed to be fun, yes? He remembered having fun like this, surrounded by his friends, talking, laughing, joking, flirting, having a good time. When had it stopped being fun and started being simply routine? Surrounded by friends? He didn't even know the name of the girl who was currently sitting on his lap, whose—and how did it get there?—breast was cupped under his fingers. Her giggling was giving him a headache. He peered through the group, trying to locate Rose and Asher and Morgan and Jerry, but he couldn't see them. A forlorn little voice at the back of his head whispered, _"Where did my friends go?"_

Slowly everyone else trickled up to bed until Albus was left alone in the common room, sitting in a chair, gazing into the dying fire. Rose appeared at the bottom of the girls' staircase, dressed in a purple flannel nightgown.

"Albus, what are you doing?"

Albus opened his mouth to give one of his smooth, witty, dismissive retorts, but what came out was a tired-sounding, "I don't know."

Rose came and sat down next to him.

"You should go to bed, it's almost two."

"Then what are you doing up?" said Albus, surprised to find that it was so late. He realized he had forgotten to do his homework again. Where did the time _go_?

"I woke up and remembered that I left my book down here," said Rose.

Albus recognized this statement for what it was, a flimsy excuse for Rose to check on him. Normally he would have felt irritated, now he just felt grateful.

"Where were you and Morgan and Asher and Jerry tonight?" asked Albus.

"Here in the common room," said Rose. "Until about eleven-thirty."

"Oh," said Albus. "I didn't see you."

He turned his gaze to the window. The snow that had been falling earlier had turned into dull, slushy sleet. It reflected his mood.

"What am I doing, Rose?" asked Albus, sitting up and looking at her. "I'm living a lie. All of this used to make me happy, but it doesn't anymore. How can a person be surrounded by people and still feel lonely?" He sighed. "It didn't start out like this. It was just a little white lie..."

"What lie, Albus?" asked Rose.

"The lie that I was over Scorpius," said Albus. "I figured if I told myself that enough then it would be true. It didn't seem like such a big deal. A good thing to lie about..."

"So you're not over him?" asked Rose, sounding slightly surprised.

"Yes. No. What does it matter?" said Albus. "The two of us are over anyway. We're not even the same people we were when we were together. Merlin knows I'm not. I decided I didn't like the person I was when I was with Scorpius, but I'm not sure I like the person I am now either, I'm not sure I even know who that is."

"Well then, find someone you do like to be," said Rose.

"Hmph," said Albus. "If only it were that simple. I'm stuck now, cornered, checkmate. At least until I get out of Hogwarts. It's too late to change who I am here; I already tried that and it just turned into a horrid mess. There are worse things I could be doing, I suppose, than scamming people who know they're being scammed. I'll wait until I have a clean slate. There's no use looking into the past for myself anyway, that's all long gone. Once I graduate and leave school, then I'll figure myself out. Then maybe Lily will talk to me again." He ran a hand through his hair. "You know, Lily saw it long before I did. She hated what I was doing right from the start. There's a girl who knows who she is, and isn't afraid to show it." He chuckled.

Rose leaned over and gave him a hug. "That all sounds pretty philosophical and thought out."

"Thought out? Maybe. Philosophical? Hardly," said Albus. "It's just the confession of a Hogwarts popularity king." He snorted. "Maybe I should write a book."

Albus stood and yawned. "I'm going to bed, thanks for listening to me dissect my life. I take comfort in the fact that your school years are supposed to be a wreck, right? So nothing abnormal here. I'm not really being cheated of anything. Oh, and Rose," he turned back at the foot of the steps to the boys' staircase. "There's a girl, a fourth year, Sarah Copper. Tell her..." his heart clenched, "just tell her to be careful, okay?"

*******Song Lyrics*******

_Out, out damn spot. _

_John's conscience would return to him in time._

_John lived a lie. _

_A lie that started out white and benign._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life it's a mess, it's a mess, it's a mess, it's a mess._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life I confess, I confess, I confess, I confess._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life it's in disarray._

_I wish you'd met me earlier than today._

_John checked his hat, his coat, his mind,_

_and somehow now the ticket stub he cannot find._

_John only dabbled, he babbled, and somewhat unraveled,_

_he never really looked me in the eye._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life it's a sham, it's a sham, it's a sham, it's a sham._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life it's a sham, it's a sham, it's a sham._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life it's a scam, it's a scam, it's a scam, it's a scam._

_I wish you'd met me earlier when I was outside and I was feeding the pigeons,_

_they were flying around, it was really pretty outside._

_Where did my friends go?_

_It seemed some nights I had so many._

_Where did my ends go?_

_It seems I used to make them meet but now I'm so incomplete,_

_when the snow turns to sleet._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life it's a mess, it's a mess, it's a mess, it's a mess._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life I confess, I confess, I confess, I confess._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life it's a sham, it's a sham, it's a sham, it's a sham._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life it's a scam, it's a scam, it's a scam, it's a scam._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life it's a wreck, it's a wreck, it's a wreck, it's a wreck._

_If you wanna know the truth about my life I'm in check, I'm in check, I'm in check, I'm in check._

_Where did my friends go? Where did my friends go? Where did my friends go...?_

**AN: I promise that the next chapter has both POVs in it, it's just that the last few songs have only applied to one or the other of the boys.**

**I hope you liked the chapter, I know it was kind of short, but it got done what it had to and I think it does it well. As you can see, this story does not flow in the same way as TTG at all. Reviews are always, always appreciated, and also always replied to.**

**Thanks!**

**-SQ**


	8. Always

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it.**

**Chapter Eight: Always**

Scorpius sat at an otherwise empty table in the library, absorbed with his books. His friends were down in the Slytherin common room, but Scorpius had opted to come up here alone to study for his fast approaching NEWTs He found himself doing that a lot lately. It wasn't that he didn't want to hang out with his friends, he did, but he didn't mind the alone time either; he had always been a fairly solitary person. Scorpius was also under an increasing amount of pressure from both himself and his father to do exceptionally well in his NEWTs. His father had always had the highest expectations of him, and expected him to beat Rose Weasley in all of his subjects (a nearly impossible task). As for Scorpius, he wanted to do well in school so that he wouldn't have to rely on the family fortune to support him; he didn't want to have to rely on anyone but himself ever again.

Voices broke through Scorpius's concentration and he glanced up. A group of seventh year students had just entered to library, chatting and laughing.

The librarian looked up from her desk and glared at them, hissing, "Shhhhhhh!"

The group rolled their eyes but dropped their voices as they came further into the library. At the head of the group was (who else would it be?) Albus Potter, looking laid-back and slightly badass with robes thrown open over a red t-shirt and black leather jacket. Scorpius took another mental snapshot for his internal scrapbook, even though he didn't really like this look on Albus.

Albus's eyes flicked toward Scorpius and then quickly away. He motioned for the rest of the group to follow him and they disappeared into the maze of bookshelves.

Scorpius sighed. Of course it made sense that Albus wouldn't want to sit where he could be stared at by his ex-boyfriend. That sounded creepy even to Scorpius, but Scorpius wished the other boy wouldn't run in the other direction every time he saw him. It wasn't like Scorpius wanted anything from him anymore, he just enjoyed being in Albus's presence; nearly everyone in the school did, it was magnetic. And every time he saw Albus was a chance to freshen up his store of memories. Not that he would ever forget Albus and the time they spent together, not if he lived to be a thousand and two, but it saddened him to think that soon those memories would be all he had left of Albus. He had grown used to waking up every morning knowing that he would be seeing the same familiar places and faces throughout the day, that they had been there yesterday and would be there tomorrow. It was stupid, but he kind of wished that it could always be like that. Routine might get a little boring after a while, but it was safe and comfortable, things that had been distinctly lacking in the first half of Scorpius's Hogwarts life.

Scorpius shrugged and turned back to his studies; he really _had_ to do well on his NEWTs.

Not even ten minutes had passed, however, when he was interrupted again; this time by someone plopping themselves into the chair across the table from him.

Scorpius, who had been deeply engrossed in a particularly complicated formula, jumped and swore as he spilled ink all over the table.

Lily giggled. He glared at her.

"Look what you made me do!" he said crossly, vanishing the mess with his wand.

"Look at what?" said Lily innocently, staring wide-eyed at the now spotless table. "I don't see anything."

Scorpius huffed.

"Aw, come of Scorp, no harm done," said Lily. "What are you doing anyway?"

"Studying."

"Again? Scorp, you're always studying, don't you think you should take a break?"

"I have," said Scorpius.

Lily shook her head. "You sound like Rose."

Scorpius scowled. "Don't remind me."

"What?"

"I'm supposed to best her in all our shared NEWT subjects."

"Says who?"

"My father. And I want to as well."

Lily shook her head again. "So competitive! Why not just try to do the best _you_ can do, Scorpius? Why do you always have to compare yourself to someone else?"

"Because everyone else does no matter whether I want them to or not," said Scorpius.

"Who cares what everyone else thinks?" said Lily, spinning her plastic neon bracelets on her wrist so that they clattered together.

"I admire your devil-may-care attitude, Lily," said Scorpius, "but I really do have to study. And shouldn't you be studying for your OWLs?"

"Ugh!" groaned Lily. "I _just_ got away from Rose telling me that. I'll tell you what I told her; I already studied for two hours this morning, and studying too much makes my brain hurt and all the fun seep out of it." She tapped her foot against the leg of her chair. "So, what's on your mind, besides studying?"

Scorpius shrugged. "Nothing much." That wasn't strictly true of course, but Lily strictly refused to discuss anything that had to do with her brother with Scorpius, telling him firmly to "forget those morons" and refusing to say another word about it. It was a pity, really, since Lily was the only one Scorpius would have considered talking to about Albus. Kevin, Haley, Fletcher, and Tatiana were great, but they had no connection to his past, and he didn't want them to. Lily, on the other hand, had been there when he had been really messed up, had been the first of Albus's family and friends to welcome and accept him, and had been the first to notice when his and Albus's relationship had changed from friendship into something more. He would have liked to talk out his feelings about Albus and that time with her, but she refused to let him bring it up, and so he let the topic lie.

*****LA*****

Albus had continued living his life as though nothing had changed. And, really, nothing had, except for the fact that he had come to the realization that his entire life right now was a sham. But that didn't matter, not really, because he could start fresh once he left Hogwarts. For now the only ones who knew that there was anything different were Rose and himself. He was pretty sure Morgan, Asher, and Jerry, his oldest friends, had some idea too, but they hadn't mentioned it to him, and he hadn't brought it up.

It amused Albus, actually, that none of his other friends could see that it was all an act. They hung on to his every word, joked, laughed, made suggestive comments, and not one of them realized that Albus wasn't really there at all. In fact, ever more increasingly he was letting his mind wander back to Scorpius, something he hadn't let it do in a long while.

Surprisingly, thoughts of the blonde boy weren't nearly as painful as they used to be. He could look at their former relationship much more objectively than he had been able to at the time. He knew that what they had could never had worked in the long run; it was too messy, too adolescent, filled with too much angst and not enough intellect and maturity. Still, he didn't regret any of it for once second, except for perhaps the way in which they had broken up. He would have liked to be able to get to know Scorpius as he was now; calm, quiet, confident, content... so many things that he hadn't been when Albus had known him. Scorpius had grown up, something Albus wasn't at all sure he himself had accomplished yet, and Albus admired him for it.

Albus wasn't even sure when this change had taken place. He had been too intent on avoiding Scorpius, looking away whenever he saw him and leaving any room he was in. Not that that had really changed either; it was a force of habit now. Whenever Albus accidentally met Scorpius's eyes he always turned away before his brain could send the message not to. And then it was too late to do anything but leave the situation before it became awkward.

Albus wondered if Scorpius ever thought about him anymore. If he did he hid it very well; then again, Scorpius always had been a master of hiding his thoughts and emotions. Albus liked to think that Scorpius hadn't completely forgotten him. Not that he had any delusions of the other boy secretly pining away for him, but what they had shared had been special, and Albus wished he had some way to confirm that Scorpius would always remember it.

Nicholas Springton tapped Albus on the shoulder.

"Hey, earth to Al, this weekend's the last Hogsmeade weekend before NEWTs, you want to come with us, right?"

"Of course," said Albus, flashing a grin that, to him, was devoid of all emotion. The surrounding seventh years must not have thought so though, because they grinned back at him, patting him on the back or punching his fist. It really was easy to fool people who _wanted_ to be fooled. They saw what they wanted to see.

*****LA*****

Albus strolled through the streets of Hogsmeade, accompanied by his usual entourage. Recently this entourage had acquired a new addition: Sara Copper. Albus made a point of ignoring her, but that didn't stop her from making every excuse to be around him. Luckily for Albus, the facts that she was only a fourth year and that she was fairly new to the group put her pretty far down on the group's totem pole. And since Albus was at the very top, this made it relatively easy for him to avoid her. In fact, ironically, it was easier to avoid her now that she was a part of his group than it had been before, because now whenever she was around him, so were all of his other usual buddies. By trying to get closer to him, Sara had made Albus that much less accessible to her.

Still, it caused a fluttering in Albus's chest every time he caught sight of the younger girl hanging near the fringes of the group. He wanted nothing more than to go over to her and take her hand; the sight of Sara Copper made thoughts of Scorpius fly right out of his head. Then again, the sight of Scorpius made thoughts of Sara fly right out of his head. Another reason to steer clear of both of them; how could he give his heart to anyone if he didn't even know it himself?

Albus realized he had been staring again and tore his eyes away from the shyly smiling girl. He would give her no reason to hope for something she couldn't have. Even if the other reasons didn't exist, it was far too late in his seventh year for Albus to be starting any serious relationships.

This was to be Albus's second to last Hogsmeade weekend as a Hogwarts student. The thought, like all of his thoughts about leaving Hogwarts, was strange, but not altogether unpleasant. Albus didn't really feel like Hogwarts had anything more to offer him; even Hogsmeade had lost its attraction, especially when he thought about the fact that once he graduated he could visit it whenever he chose. Somehow he didn't think that was going to be every often. He looked around at other students surrounding him. Besides Rose, Asher, Jerry, and Morgan, he wouldn't miss any of them. He liked them, sure, or at least he didn't dislike most of them, but they were just people like any others, and keeping them in his life would tie him to who he was now, and he wanted to get as far from that as possible once he left school. He momentarily wondered whether it would be a good idea to sever ties with Asher, Morgan, and Jerry too, so as to start with a completely clean slate, but he scrapped the idea almost immediately. That kind of thing simply didn't work, he'd tried it with Scorpius, and besides, he didn't _want_ to sever ties with his best friends. They were the only things at this school that truly made him happy anymore.

Briefly Albus wondered where Scorpius was right now, perhaps somewhere with Lily or his Slythiern friends, but he was jerked out of this thought by an arm being thrown around his shoulders.

"Hey, d'you wanna go girl watching in the park? There are some pretty hot chicks who visit Hogsmeade this time of year. A lot of the St. Mungo's interns spend their weekends here."

Albus really couldn't have cared less about the St. Mungo's interns at the moment (though there was no denying that some of them were pretty damn hot) but his "friends" were happy to know nothing more than what Albus portrayed on the surface, and in return he gave them what they wanted.

"Damn right I want to go girl watching in the park! St. Mungo's interns, here I come!"

*****LA*****

Scorpius raked his fingers through his hair for the dozenth time. NEWT exams started _tomorrow_ and he couldn't concentrate! His mind kept drifting to all of the things he would be leaving behind when he left Hogwarts.

His small group of Slytherin friends would stay in contact of course, but they wouldn't see each other every day like they did at Hogwarts. Lily would be staying at Hogwarts, their only means of communication through letters. Then there were the classes, most of which Scorpius actually enjoyed, and the professors, Scorpius's dormitory and the Slytherin common room, the rest of the castle, the routine. And, of course, Albus.

Scorpius wrinkled his nose. He had to stop _thinking_ about him! It wasn't even that he was pining over him or anything, he just... Scorpius didn't even know why he kept thinking about Albus. He guessed he was curious about what Albus was like now. Of course that was silly, the whole school knew what Albus was like now, but Scorpius couldn't help thinking that there had to be something more. Albus couldn't have changed _that_ completely. Could he?

_Doesn't matter_, he told himself. _You'll never know, will you?_

Scorpius closed his textbook in disgust. If he didn't know the material now, he wasn't going to learn it by tomorrow morning. He wondered what Albus was doing right now. Probably not studying. He wondered what Albus thought of him now, _if_ Albus ever thought of him now. Probably not. He wished that wasn't the case, but realistically, Albus probably didn't have much time to spare for thoughts of him. It was silly, but that made him just the tinniest bit sad. He would have liked to know that Albus would keep his memories of Scorpius forever, like Scorpius was sure to keep his own memories of him.

Oh well, at least he could pretend that Albus would remember him; it _could_ be true, you never knew, and it wasn't likely that Scorpius was going to get any proof either way.

*****LA*****

Scorpius packed up his things and returned to the common room. Kevin, Haley, Fletcher, and Tatiana were sitting around their usual table, sharing a round of drinks.

"Really, guys?" said Scorpius, even as he poured one for himself. "On a school night?"

Fletcher shrugged. "We have to bolster ourselves for tomorrow."

"Don't get shitfaced," Haley advised. "You'll kill yourself if you mess up your exams tomorrow."

Scorpius didn't particularly like Haley's choice of words, but he agreed with her sentiment. He drank only two glasses, enough to give himself a definite buzz, but not enough to mess him up in the morning, and then the five of them retired to bed.

As Scorpius laid his head on his pillow he decided that the drinks had definitely been a good idea. He was sure that, sober, he wouldn't have been able to sleep for fretting about the coming exams. As it was, he slid quickly into an alcohol induced slumber, free from worry or bad dreams, and slept soundly until morning.

*****LA*****

Albus, Jerry, Asher, and Morgan all pumped their fists in the air as they exited their History of Magic exam, the last exam they would ever take at Hogwarts.

"I can't believe it's really over," said Morgan.

"I know," said Jerry, "Seven years is a bloody long time."

"I'm glad to be free!" said Morgan

"I dunno," said Asher, "I'll kind of miss it."

"Not me," said Albus.

"I don't think I explained that question on Medieval goblin wars sufficiently," said Rose.

Albus rolled his eyes and swatted her on the arm.

"What have we told you about reliving exams after the fact?" said Jerry.

"Yeah," said Asher. "We don't want to hear it!"

Albus agreed with them, he definitely did not want to relive his exams now that they were over. The fact was that he knew he could have done a lot better on them than he had. If he hadn't been slacking off in school over the past year and a half, if he had actually done all his homework and studied for his exams... But he hadn't, and it was bound to show in his results. But there wasn't much he could do about it now. There went his dreams of becoming an Auror like his dad...

Albus mentally shook himself. Tomorrow was his last Hogsmeade weekend ever as a Hogwarts student, and then he only had one more week before he was free of this place forever. He couldn't wait. The walls of the castle seemed too close, the ceilings too low, the corridors too crowded, the students too loud, the lower years to small. Hogwarts used to be his home away from home, he had loved it here, now it seemed more like a prison; a prison trapping him in his childhood, or rather memories of a childhood he could never return to, and realities of an adolescence he'd rather forget.

"Albus. Albus!"

Albus turned and found himself doing something he avoided if at all possible; looking into the stunning eyes of Sara Copper.

"Uh..." he said stupidly.

"Look," she said, turning bright pink. "I know—I know you're graduating and everything, and I understand you not wanting to start a relationship right now, but please, won't you come to Hogsmeade with me this weekend? Just the two of us?"

She bit her lip and worried the hem of her robes in an absolutely adorable way. Albus had opened his mouth, fully intending to say yes, when his sensibility kicked in.

"No," he said, firmly but gently. "No, Sara, I won't. I'm going to spend my last Hogsmeade weekend with all of my friends, and then I'm going to leave Hogwarts and get on with my life. I'd advise you to do the same. And be—"

"I know," said Sara. "'Be careful.' Rose told me. What's that even supposed to mean? That you're dangerous or something?"

"Anything can be dangerous if you don't know what you're doing," said Albus. "Please, I can't give you what you want, find someone else."

"I don't _want_ someone else," said Sara, half-stubborn, half-pleading. "I want _you_."

"No," said Albus. "You don't know what you want. No one does at fifteen. Believe me."

"You think you're so wise just because you're in seventh year!" said Sara.

Albus laughed humorlessly. "Hardly. I wouldn't know wise if it hit me in the back of the head. I'm still trying to learn smart. Now go away, please."

"I _like_ you Albus," said Sara quietly. "I don't just want to date you because you're good looking and popular you know."

"I know," said Albus heavily. "And that's exactly why there can never be anything between us."

"But that doesn't make any _sense_. You can't tell me you're not interested!"

Albus sighed. "Sara, have you seen the girls I date?"

"Of course."

"Then you know you're not like them at all."

"Neither was he."

Albus closed his eyes briefly. "Who?" he said, though there was only one person she could be talking about.

"Malfoy."

"I was a different person back then."

"I don't believe you."

"Then you're a fool."

"Maybe you won't go out with me because you're still in love with him. Is that it?"

"I won't go out with you because I'm about to graduate and you're only fifteen!" Albus snapped. "End of discussion. I'll see you in Hogsmeade, with everybody else. And with that he strode down the corridor, resisting the strong urge to look back and see what kind of look Sara had on her face.

*****LA*****

Scorpius stared at his packed trunk. He couldn't believe it. He was really leaving. It was ironic; how many times during his first three years at Hogwarts had he wished that he could leave and never come back? And now that that was finally the case, Scorpius was terrified. He knew who he was here, he knew where he fit, but out in the real world Scorpius didn't have any idea. Would people treat him differently because he was gay? Would they treat him differently because he was a Malfoy? Because he was rich? And differently how so? Would it be good or bad?

"Mate, let's go, we're going to miss the train."

Scorpius looked up at Kevin, who was motioning to him from the doorway.

"You've been packed for ages, what's the hold up?"

"Can't believe I'm really leaving for good I guess," said Scorpius.

"I know," said Kevin, shaking his curly head. "It's hard not to think that we'll just be coming back again next year."

Scorpius nodded mutely.

Tatiana's voice rang up the stairs, breaking the silence.

"Kevin! Scorpius! Get your asses down here!"

The boys smiled ruefully at each other.

"I guess that's our cue, eh?" said Kevin.

"Sounds like it," said Scorpius and he followed Kevin down the stairs and into the common room.

*****LA*****

Albus was in high demand during the train ride to Kings Cross Station, especially with the fourth, fifth, and sixth years. Everybody wanted to say one last thing to him before he was gone for good. Albus put up with it because he knew it was the last time; finally, the last time he would have to be this person he didn't want to be anymore, the last time he would have to look at all these people he didn't really care about and wonder how it was that they saw what they saw in him. It was time for Hogwarts to have a new popularity king, and that was fine with Albus.

As the train drew into the station Albus stood, shook off his admirers, and grabbed his trunk from the rack.

"We'll write you!" shouted half a dozen people. Albus doubted it. Out of sight, out of mind.

"We'll write you," said Asher, Morgan, and Jerry.

Albus believed them. They were his oldest and dearest friends, and the only ones that mattered. If he hadn't had an image to uphold, even if it was just for a few more minutes, he would have hugged them. As it was, he clapped each of them on the back, hoping that the gesture conveyed even a fraction of his love and gratitude.

"I'll write you too."

They bid each other farewell and then Albus and Rose walked together in the direction of their parents. They didn't speak; there was no need to. Words couldn't express the flurry of emotions that were going through both of them at leaving the school they had attended for the past seven years of their lives.

Albus smiled slightly as he caught sight of the barrier separating platform 9 ¾ from the rest of King's Cross Station. On the other side of that wall was a clean slate, a new beginning.

Three people crossed in front of the barrier into Albus's vision; Scorpius Malfoy and his parents.

Albus's stomach lurched. A realization struck him, something he had never really thought about until now; just as he was leaving Hogwarts and all his false friends behind, he was also leaving behind any lingering connection he had to Scorpius. They may well never see each other again. And if they did, they would be irrevocably two adults who barely knew each other, and yet whose past together was to be forever unresolved.

Albus suddenly realized he didn't want that. Maybe he wasn't as ready to part with his old life as he had thought, but he knew that he couldn't bear to leave Hogwarts behind and start fresh without at least talking to Scorpius one last time. There was so much between them that they had left unfinished, things that would haunt Albus for the rest of his life if he didn't try and address them now. How could he have ever thought that they could just move on with their lives just like that as if nothing had ever happened between them? It was absurd. This was Albus's one and only chance to finally resolve the tension and uncertainty that had been eating away at him (at both of them?) since they had broken up. One thing in Albus's long list of mistakes that he might actually be able to fix. He took a step toward the three Malfoys.

"_Scorpius!"_

But it was too late; Scorpius and his family had already disappeared through the barrier.

*******Song Lyrics*******

_I'm up here on my own again, I'm always on my own._

_They don't know anything at all, they see just what they want._

_Can't they see I'm not really here, I'm back there with you_

_Flying away,_

_wish I could say you will be there tomorrow and always._

_Just have to go,_

_wish I could know you will always remember me now and always._

_Turning my face away again, I'm always turned away._

_Wanting someone to talk it out, without you always_

_Flying away,_

_wish I could say you will be there tomorrow and always._

_Just have to go,_

_wish I could know you will always remember me now and always._

_Always._

_Flying away,_

_wish I could say you will be there tomorrow and always._

_Just have to go,_

_wish I could know you will always remember me now and always._

_Flying away,_

_wish I could say you will be there tomorrow and always._

_Just have to go,_

_wish I could know you will always remember me now and always._

_Always_

_Always_

_Always_

_Always_

_Always_

_Always_

**AN: Did you think I'd actually take them out of Hogwarts? 'Cause I just did ;)**

**Please, tell me any thoughts you might have, I'm always ready to read them!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-SQ**


	9. Look Around

**Author's Note: This is the title chapter but no, sorry, it's not particularly pivotal. It just happens to be the chapter for the title song of the album. I hope it's still good though. :)**

**-SQ**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not J.K Rowling, which means I still don't own Harry Potter. Tough.**

**Chapter Nine: Look Around**

Scorpius Malfoy was packing his trunks to move out of his (ex) boyfriend's house. Again. Not that it was the same ex-boyfriend, just that over the past four and a half years Scorpius had changed apartments a total of eight times. This would be his ninth. After graduating from Hogwarts he had almost immediately found himself his own apartment, in spite of his mother's insistence that he was welcome to remain living at home. Hardly had he established himself in his new place however, when he had met Ralph, a handsome Gringotts employee a few years older than himself, and two month later Scorpius had moved in with him. They had lived together for nearly six months before things had fallen apart and Scorpius had found himself moving back into an apartment of his own. And so it went, in and out of boyfriends' apartments, flats, and houses, never really settling down on his own. So much for his grand schemes of independence. At least he had a steady job.

Scorpius pulled the last of the boxes out of the back of the closet, releasing a cloud of dust into the air which made him cough and splutter. He wondered why he even bothered to take this beat up old cardboard box with him every time he moved; it was full of old odds and ends from Scorpius's school days, and he was pretty sure that was the last time it had been opened.

As he yanked it out of the corner of the closet there was a _riiiiiiip_ing sound and one of the weathered, faded sides fell away, followed by a cascade of junk onto the carpeted floor.

"Fuck."

Scorpius squatted down on the carpet and surveyed the cardboard ruins. He could just cast _reparo_ on the old piece of junk, but he knew it was only a matter of time before it fell apart entirely, and now was as good a time as any to sort through the musty contents.

Settling himself into a more comfortable position on his knees, Scorpius picked up the first dust covered item; an eagle-feather quill, hopelessly bedraggled, the tip still coated in ink. Scorpius cast it aside; he had a dozen more like it, all in better repair than this one.

The next item was a leather bound notebook with the word _Charms_ printed on the cover in Scorpius's own flowing handwriting. He flipped through it idly, smiling at his boyhood enthusiasm for the subject, one he hadn't lost when he had left school. Still, no use keeping the thing; he tossed it on top of the broken quill.

So too he discarded a stack of old Quidditch and Charms magazines, a handful of chocolate frog cards, several other school books and notebooks, and a myriad of other things Scorpius had no idea why he had seen the reason to keep. Apparently he hadn't wanted to let go of _anything_ that had to do with his time at Hogwarts.

Scorpius brushed his long blonde hair back from his eyes and reached for the last item in the box. He immediately recognized it as his old sketchbook. As he picked it up a loose page fluttered out of the book and landed on the floor by his knees, face-down.

He picked it up, intending to tuck it back inside the sketchbook, but the drawing on the faded sheet of parchment caught his eye. He smoothed it out, staring down at the vividly drawn scene in his lap.

It was very well done, probably one of his best from his schooldays, though now he could do better, but that wasn't what had caught his attention.

The drawing was of a unicorn, pitch black and bleeding, tethered to the ground by ropes of flame. In spite of its crazed fury, a figure, features obscured by shadow, was attempting to calm and free the beast.

Scorpius had forgotten about this picture, but now that he saw it he remembered drawing it; it had been among the first things he had drawn after attempting to take his own life in his third year at Hogwarts; and he remembered well the day he had shown it to Albus Potter.

Albus Potter. There was someone he hadn't thought about in a while. His first year out of Hogwarts he had nearly driven himself crazy thinking about the former Gryffindor, but time had passed, and life had gone on, and the dark haired, green eyed boy had slipped further and further from his mind. Not that he had completely forgotten about him, how could he? The second son of the famous Harry Potter, while not quite as popular with the press as his Quidditch star older brother, still got his fair share of publicity. Scorpius didn't hold much by the _Daily Prophet_, the most popular wizarding newspaper, which was still rather more about selling itself then delivering real news, but he did remember reading a year or two back about Albus's engagement to some up-and-coming model, a friend of the family's or some such. The picture in the paper had featured a smiling, dashingly handsome Albus with his arm around a very pretty, long-legged, shapely brunette with a stylish bob-cut and an adorable sprinkling of freckles. Scorpius hadn't looked long, but somehow he was able to recall every detail of the photograph perfectly.

Scorpius wondered where Albus was now. In the nearly five years since they had graduated from Hogwarts Scorpius hadn't run into Albus even once. Granted, Britain, even wizarding Britain, was a big place, but Scorpius had certainly come across other old schoolmates and found it slightly odd that he had yet to run into Albus.

He assumed that Albus had settled down with his new wife; a nice little house, or a big one, seeing as both of them were quite rich, family and friends visiting all the time, perhaps a baby on the way. Scorpius felt just a bit envious; he didn't see marriage or settling down or babies anywhere in his future.

_That's what you get when you're gay and indecisive and hard to please_, he told himself.

"Scorpius? Do you need any help?"

Scorpius started internally, though not visibly, and looked up from his kneeling position on the carpet. Aaron stood in the doorway, his untidy dark brown hair falling into his pale green eyes.

Scorpius shook his head. "No, Aaron, I'm nearly done, just have to pack these last things and throw out this box."

He stood, wincing slightly as he straightened his knees; he hadn't realized how long he'd been kneeling on the floor.

"You sure you don't need any help?"

"No, I'm fine," said Scorpius.

He felt rather guilty. He knew Aaron still liked him, a lot, and wanted him to stay, but he wasn't pressuring him, which made it even worse. At least when he had fought with his boyfriends he hadn't felt so guilty about leaving them. Scorpius had had real feelings for Aaron when they had first gotten together, he wasn't that cruel, but the truth was, Scorpius had just grown tired of the other man. He was a really sweet guy, but he held no interest for Scorpius anymore. The blonde was bored.

Scorpius latched the clasp on the last of his trunks and flicked his wand to levitate them.

"Well, I guess I'll be going then," he said, smiling at Aaron.

"Yeah," said Aaron, smiling back sadly. "Remember, if you ever need a place to stay or anything, my house is always open."

"Thanks, Aaron, I'll keep that in mind."

*****LA*****

After finding the picture (which, when he had opened the sketchbook to investigate further, had been accompanied by several more sketches of Albus Potter, age thirteen through sixteen) Scorpius found himself often thinking about the other man, even looking around to see if he was about whenever he went out, something he hadn't done since he was eighteen. The wizarding world was a pretty tight-knit community after all; they were bound to run into each other soon or later. Scorpius wondered when and where it would happen, and what is would be like when it did. Albus was bound to have changed in the past four and a half years; Scorpius knew he certainly had. Would they be enemies? Friends? Acquaintances? Strangers? Would they even have anything to say to one another at all? Scorpius wasn't even sure what kind of terms they had parted on. He caught himself yet again doing a double take to make sure that a passing man wasn't Albus Potter and shook his head. What a silly waste of time; as if he could control when and where and how he would finally meet Albus again. When had worrying about the future gotten him anywhere? All he had to worry about right now, he thought, glancing up at the street sign for sixteenth street and then checking his watch, was getting to work on time.

*****LA*****

Albus surveyed his small, cluttered flat. Okay, it wasn't really that small, he amended with a rueful smile, it only seemed that way because of all the stuff thrown helter-skelter around it. Stuff he would have to do something about before his sister and cousins arrived in the morning. Oh _why_ did he always put everything off until the last minute?

Albus scowled at the heaps of things piled on his bedroom floor. He had been using the guest bedrooms as storage spaces—not very organized storage spaces—and now he had the task of sorting through all of the junk that he had been keeping there. How had he ended up with so much stuff anyway? He had gotten rid of nearly everything he had owned as a student when he graduated from Hogwarts, but somehow in the course of the last four and a half years he had managed to accumulate just as much stuff as he had gotten rid of.

He was tempted to dump the lot in the rubbish bin and be done with it, but he knew that there were things in there that he wouldn't want to throw away. He sighed in resignation. Well, all this crap wasn't going to sort itself.

*****LA*****

It was surprising, really, how fast work went when you really bucked down on it. Albus had found this when he was at school too; he had always been the kind who did his best work under pressure. It was several hours later and nearly everything in the many piles had found a home, most of it _not_ in the rubbish bin. Albus picked up a few old books that were still strew about the carpet and went over to stick them on the bookshelf. As he did so a sheet of parchment slid out of one of them and fluttered to the floor.

Curious, Albus bend down and picked it up, wondering what it could be. It seemed to be a drawing. The only person Albus knew who could draw this was well his cousin Dominique, but this wasn't her style at all; the lines were too bold, the shading too intense, the technique more earthy than Domi's rather ethereal artwork.

Albus settled his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose and peered at the picture. The subject matter wasn't anything like Domi's either. She tended to draw nature scenes and wildlife and animals, sometimes houses or cityscapes, but rarely people, and this drawing was most definitely of people. An intertwined couple, the dark of the man's hair complementing the light of the woman's in a very striking manner.

Or _was_ it a woman? Albus looked closer. No, the second figure, despite the long pale hair, was distinctly male. But he would hardly call it a man, more like boys, both of them, hardly more than children really. Albus felt a slight stirring somewhere inside of him. The drawing was very well done, the passion between the two teens obvious even in parchment and ink. And it had been a very long time since Albus had indulged his taste for men as well as women. But why in the world did he have a drawing of two boys kissing in the first place?

And then he knew, and he felt like the world's biggest idiot for not realizing it sooner. He had the picture because it had been given to him, given to him by the person who had drawn it. The dark haired boy in the picture was himself, the taller, light haired one the artist, Scorpius Malfoy.

The only question was why he still had it, when he had gotten rid of everything relating to his school days as soon as he had graduated from Hogwarts. A hasty decision he now rather regretted, but the fact remained this picture had somehow escaped the purge.

Albus studied the artwork. Scorpius really had been an amazing artist. He wondered if Scorpius was still drawing, he hoped so; it would be a pity to waste such talent. The other boy had had many talents actually; schoolwork, especially Charms; Quidditch; hiding his emotions, though whether that was a good thing or not was open for debate.

It was funny; when Scorpius had left through the barrier into King's Cross Station before Albus had a chance to talk to him one last time he was sure that thoughts of the blonde would haunt him for the rest of his life. But they really hadn't. Not that he had forgotten about the former Slytherin, that would have been impossible, but life really had kept moving right along, and there simply hadn't been time to dwell on ex-boyfriends, even ones who had been as important as Scorpius.

But now Albus was curious. Where was Scorpius now? And what was he doing there? Did he have a job, or was he living off of the Malfoy family fortune? Did he have his own place, or was he still living at home. Albus was fairly sure that he hadn't gotten married, or whatever the gay equivalent to that was (_Being bisexual and related to people active in politics I really should know that_, he thought); Scorpius had done a surprisingly good job of staying out of the papers, but Albus doubted that the Malfoy heir would be able to settle down with anyone, especially someone of the same gender, without the _Prophet_ snapping it up.

So Scorpius hadn't gotten married—or whatever—Was he seeing someone? Was it a long term relationship or a short term? And why did Albus care? He hadn't even seen the other man for nearly five years, didn't even know if they'd recognize each other if they did see each other.

After Albus had left Hogwarts his biggest fear was that he would run into Scorpius Malfoy again, and all of their unresolved past would sit between them like a great, fire-breathing dragon. After all, they hadn't exactly parted on excellent terms. The last time they had really talked had resulted in a big argument which culminated in the end of a two-and-a-half year relationship. A three year relationship if you included the time before they had started dating. It was a situation Albus could have handled much better than he had, he thought, cringing. He had said some things that day that he wasn't exactly proud of, and that he wasn't likely to forget any time soon. Not that Scorpius hadn't been in the wrong as well, but Albus certainly hadn't been as blameless as he had made himself out to be at the time. Painted himself as a bloody martyr almost. So it made sense that Albus hadn't wanted to face those demons again, and that Scorpius wouldn't have wanted to see him either no doubt.

But now he found that he wouldn't mind it so very much if he met the other man again. The past was the past, right? Obviously they couldn't pretend it had never happened, but that didn't mean it had to govern their entire lives. Albus spared a moment to imagine different scenarios in which they might finally see each other again: In some official meeting, visiting the park at night (well, at least Albus liked to do this, he didn't know if it would be Scorpius's cup of tea, he didn't know anything about the blonde anymore, for all Albus knew he could have dyed his hair brunette, though somehow he doubted it), on a summer weekend trip to Diagon Alley; many wizards took those, though more often the ones with children, at least in the late summer... Albus didn't know where Scorpius hung out these days, but Albus thought that maybe he'd start keeping an eye out for him, just in case. Whenever they did happen to meet again, Albus hoped that it would be as old friends, or at least not as old enemies.

Albus glanced at the clock and was surprised to find that it was nearly two in the morning. And Lily, Rose, and Hugo were coming at ten. He looked around the room. Good enough, he decided, kicking an empty box under the bed. It's not like they would expect him to keep a spotless house; he was a bachelor for Merlin's sake, not a bloody housewife.

Albus quickly showered and climbed into bed with his hair still wet. He knew this would cause his hair to stick up in the back even more than usual, but he had stopped fighting that battle a long time ago.

*****LA*****

Albus's alarm clock went off and he groaned, groping around for the snooze button before he remembered that he had disabled it over a year ago so that he would actually get up for work on time.

He sat up, shoved his glasses onto his nose, and checked the time: 9:45. He had fifteen minutes before Lily, Rose, and Hugo would be arriving. Plenty of time.

*****LA*****

Albus had just thrown his breakfast dishes in the sink and set them to washing themselves when the buzzer rang. Perfect timing. He buzzed them up and then hurried to open the flat's door.

"Hi!"

"Al!" said his sister, grinning and giving him a big hug. "How are you?"

The estrangement that had been between the two siblings during Albus's last year and a half at Hogwarts had vanished and they were now as close as ever. Albus grinned back at her; it had been far too long since he had seen his world-traveling little sister.

"I'm good," he replied, stepping aside to allow her and his cousins to enter. "How was Africa?"

"Amazing," said Lily, beaming. "It was so rewarding to help people in need. You should have seen the way some of those Muggles live, it was awful. But we helped them build some homes and schools and other things they really needed. Wizards have so many resources we can share with Muggles without revealing ourselves to them, but we so rarely do! I met some really interesting people too. I'm sorry I didn't write to you more often, but I was just so busy. I'll have to show you the pictures."

"Better set aside an entire day," said Hugo, earning himself a glare from Lily.

Albus smiled at his sister's enthusiasm. Though he missed her while she was away, he was glad that she had found something she was truly passionate about.

Rose looked around at the flat. "I see you've let the place go again."

"I cleaned it up for you!" protested Albus, scanning the room for signs of clutter he'd missed.

"Oh, we know you _tried_," said Lily indulgently. "But don't worry, we'll help you."

Albus and Hugo shared a look and a groan. They could already tell what was first on this afternoon's agenda: spring cleaning.

*******Song Lyrics*******

Will it be on Sixteenth Street or in the park?

Will it be in summertime or after dark?

Where do you hang out these days? I look around.

Sometimes I think I see your face, I look around.

Look around.

When will we meet again? It's been such a long time.

When will I see you my friend?

And will I still know you? Will you still know me?

Last time you saw me there was an argument.

I said some things on that day I can't forget.

Are you seeing someone new? I look around.

So often I think of you, I look around.

Look around.

When will we meet again? It's been such a long time.

When will I see you my friend?

And will I still know you? Will you still know me?

When will I see you again?

**AN: Yes, there was indeed a 4 ½ year time skip there. You might not have been expecting that, but I was, hehe ;) **

**And the pictures make a reappearance!**

**And hopefully any important questions that came up in this chapter about the characters' lives will be addressed in the next one.**

**-SQ**


	10. Lesson Number 1

**Author's Note: I hope you enjoy the chapter, something important happens! ;)**

**Disclaimer: Didn't write the song, didn't invent the characters, just came up with the idea of putting the two together.**

**Chapter Ten: Lesson # 1**

Albus Potter walked with an easy, purposeful stride down the busy London street and stopped in front of a shabby little pub that was tucked in between a bookshop and a music store. The people hurrying by him on the street paid the building no attention whatsoever for the simple reason that they, being Muggles, couldn't see it.

Albus patted his pockets to make sure he had the money and the order form that the head of the Auror Office (aka his father, Harry Potter) had given him, and then stepped through the wooden doorway into the room beyond.

The inside of the pub was a sharp contrast to the dingy front it displayed to the gray London street outside. In Albus's parent's day both the inside and outside of the Leaky Cauldron had been dark, dusty, and rather grubby, but in the four decades since the Second Wizarding War had ended, and the little pub had come under new ownership, it had been transformed into a bright, cheery place with a cozy, homey atmosphere.

A round, doughy little witch with pink cheeks and a messy blond bun liberally streaked with silver bustled out of the back room and caught sight of Albus standing in the doorway.

"Al!" she exclaimed, hurrying over to give him a soft, squishy hug. "Please tell me you can stay for a mug of ale at least."

Albus shook his head.

"Sorry, Aunt Hannah, I wish I could, but I'm here on Auror business."

Hannah Longbottom, Albus's honorary aunt, sighed. "Ah, yes, of course. What a busy young man you are. Perhaps on the way back, then?"

"Definitely," said Albus.

"Good luck, Al," said Hannah, moving off to one of the tables where a patron had put up his hand for another drink.

"Thank you, Aunt Hannah," said Albus, laughing, "but I'm only going to submit a request for a map, I hardly think I'm going to need it."

"You never know," said Hannah, winking.

Albus nodded to a few of the pub's patrons as he crossed the room and then exited through the back door into the little courtyard beyond. He pulled out his wand and tapped the required bricks and they parted obligingly to allow him passage into the street beyond.

Albus had always liked Diagon Alley; a wizard could find anything their heart desired among the various shops lining the cobbled streets. Albus would have dearly loved to stop off at Fortescue's Ice Cream parlor for a sundae or Quality Quidditch Supplies to look at the latest line of brooms, or to drop by Weasley's Wizard Wheezes to see his uncle George and his cousin Fred, but, as he had told Hannah, he was here on Auror business, not for pleasure.

Ever since Albus had been a small boy he had wanted to become an Auror when he grew up, like his father and his uncle Ron. By the time he had graduated from Hogwarts, however, he had not secured the N.E.W.T marks necessary for entrance into the Auror Academy. He had been prepared to let his dream go, since it had been his own fault that he had lost it in the first place, when his father had offered him a desk job in the Auror Office. Filing papers and making appointments may not have been Albus's idea of an exciting career, but he had recognized the offer for what it was: a small window of opportunity. Ever since the laws regarding entrance into the Auror Academy had been modified following the Second Wizarding War, it had been possible for a witch or wizard to gain admittance even if they had graduated from Hogwarts without receiving the required levels on their N.E.. Difficult, certainly, but possible. Albus harbored the hope that by working his way up through the levels of the outer Auror Office, he would eventually be in a position to take the Academy Entrance Exam. The exam was grueling, even more so for those who had not received the required N.E., but Albus was determined and, as his mother said, if she had to place a bet between a determined Albus and a rampaging hippogriff, her money would not be on the hippogriff.

Albus was currently the Junior Executive Secretary of Auror Communications and Affairs, a complicated sounding title that really meant that he was in charge of running a lot of important, and sometimes classified, errands. Today he was on his way to a shop called Millegar's Maps, the most highly praised, and priced, magical map shop in all of Britain. Hoover Millegar, a wizard whose parents had both been Muggles, but who had traced his family tree back to find prominent wizards in earlier generations, had established the shop thirty years previous. Originally it had been only him and his two sons, but now he employed several secretaries, errand-boys and girls, and a select group of apprentices to support the demand that had grown for his business. All Millegar maps were hand-drawn, and there was usually a two year long waiting list; Albus was here to convince Millegar to bump up the Auror office's most recent order—a map detailing a particularly complicated part of London which was forever undergoing changes of both magical and non-magical nature and it's connections to other magical outposts—on the list.

Millegar's Maps was a deceptively unimpressive looking building. Simple and modern, it was made of white stone with square windows and a neatly painted sign over the mahogany door.

Albus pushed this door open and a bell jingled somewhere in the shop. The young woman at the front desk, a tall, thin blond, had her head bent over a piece of paper with an air of intense concentration, her right hand working furiously on something obscured by her crooked arm. She held up one long-fingered hand in Albus's direction, indicating for him to wait until whatever she was doing was completed. Albus shrugged and took the time to look around the room.

He had been to this shop a handful of times on Auror business. The whitewashed walls were covered with intricately drawn maps of everything from the entire world to a single block of an English suburb. A shelf contained all sorts of fancy parchments, inks, quills, and other map-making implements. There were no other decorations and everything was as neat as a pin and put in its proper place. Albus was always afraid that he'd mess something up whenever he came here, and yet it was absolutely fascinating.

The young woman finally looked up from the desk, laying down her quill folding her delicate fingers in front of her.

"Sorry about that," she said in a voice that was surprisingly deep for a woman, startling Albus out of his examination of a full-color, three-dimensional map of the Forest of Dean. "What can I do for you?"

Albus turned his attention back to the polished mahogany desk and nearly fainted.

The person sitting behind the desk wasn't a young woman at all; it was a young man. A tall, thin young man with long, white-blond hair tied back with a black silk ribbon, pale, delicately pointed features, and stormy gray eyes.

Albus simply gaped, temporary incapable of coherent thought, let alone intelligent speech.

The young man raised one translucent eyebrow in confusion. Why was this man—this dark-haired, green-eyed, admittedly very sexy man—gaping at him as thought he had never seen anything like him in his life? Surely the fact that he was fairly obviously gay—at least he made no attempt to hide the fact, though he didn't go flaunting it either—wasn't _that_ shocking.

"May I help you?"

"_Scorpius?"_

Scorpius blinked. "Er—yes?" he said, confused.

"I—Merlin—Wow... This is...unexpected."

"Do I know you?"

The green-eyed young man ran a hand through his messy black hair. "Damn, you don't even recognize me, do you? I guess that makes sense... I mean, it's been nearly five years, I'm sure I've changed. You have too, but I recognized you right away—well, no, that's not true, I thought you were a woman at first, when your head was down. But I guess I just assumed that you'd recognize me too—which I shouldn't do of course...assume things I mean..."

Scorpius stared at the nervously babbling man in front of him and licked suddenly dry lips.

"Albus. Albus Potter."

He didn't know why he hadn't recognized the other man sooner; it was so bleeding _obvious_. The only reasonable explanation he could come up with was that he'd spent so much time looking for Albus in other people, that he hadn't noticed when the man himself had turned up right under his nose.

Albus stopped talked as suddenly as if someone had pressed the mute button.

"Er—yeah."

"What are you doing here?"

Albus was slightly taken aback by the abrupt question.

"Er—I'm here about a map order for the Auror Office."

"The Auror Office?"

"Yeah, I work for them. I'm the Junior Executive Secretary of Auror Communications and Affairs."

"Sorry?"

"I run important and often classified errands."

Scorpius suddenly laughed. "Leave it to the Ministry to come up with such a complicated title for such a simple job."

"It's not simple," said Albus hotly. "It happens to be very important."

Scorpius laughed again. "Don't get your knickers in a knot, Potter, I'm sure it is very important."

"And what do _you_ do?" asked Albus.

"I'm Mr. Millegar's Head Apprentice," said Scorpius casually.

Albus's eyes widened. _"Really?"_ He looked toward the desk that Scorpius had so recently occupied.

"I know, I know," said Scorpius. "What am I doing sitting at the front desk like a common secretary. The girl scheduled to work today got sick last minute and Mr. Millegar asked me fill in for her. He enjoys knocking us down a few pegs when he feels we're getting too cocky."

The two men stared at each other, unsure of what to do next. What did you say to your ex-enemy/boyfriend/schoolmate who you hadn't seen in nearly five years?

Finally Scorpius broke the silence.

"You said you were here about a map order for the Auror Office?"

"Oh, yeah," said Albus, who had completely forgotten about the Auror Office's map order. He fumbled around in his pocket and pulled out the folded order form and priority request, which he handed to Scorpius.

Scorpius took the papers and sat down at the desk, and as he studied them Albus studied him. Scorpius had filled out over the past few years; while he was still delicate and graceful looking, he didn't seem as fragile as he had when they had gone to school together, as though a strong breath of wind could shatter him like a piece of china. There was an air of muted confidence in the way he carried himself—not the false confidence he had worn during his first three years at Hogwarts, but a sort of collectedness, as though he knew who he was, and didn't feel the need to either broadcast or hide it. He was taller, though still thin, and his skin was as smooth and white as porcelain. He seemed almost feminine, but not quite; there was an undeniable undercurrent of masculinity there as well. The focus with which he studied the papers Albus had handed him was so complete that Albus got the feeling the other man had forgotten he was even in the room. Then Scorpius looked up and Albus, suddenly realizing he was staring, looked away swiftly.

"Well, Mr. Millegar isn't going to be happy," said Scorpius, refolding the sheets of paper. "But I think this can be arranged. Probably by having me work my fingers to the bone to complete it on time."

Albus suddenly realized something.

"Oh, how perfect!"

Scorpius looked at him in confusion.

"Pardon?"

"You, working here, it's perfect! What a wonderful use of your artistic skills. I'm glad you're still drawing."

"Er—thank you," said Scorpius uncomfortably. "The map will be ready for you to pick up three weeks from today."

Albus, taking this as a dismissal, nodded and handed Scorpius the advance part of the payment for the map before turning to leave.

At the shop door Albus turned back and was struck with a nearly overwhelming sense of deja vu; him standing in the doorway looking down at Scorpius seated at the desk, his blond head bowed slightly over his work once more. And the memory of the last time Albus had turned back and looked at Scorpius through a doorway rooted him to the spot for a second, and the words were out of his mouth before he knew he was going to say them.

"Would you maybe like to get a coffee sometime?"

Scorpius raised his head and Albus was certain he was going to decline, was almost relived at the thought.

"Alright. If you come at closing time for the map maybe we could get something afterwards."

"Yeah," said Albus. "That sounds good. See you then." And he left the shop and Apparated home, completely forgetting about his promise to drop back by the Three Broomsticks to see Aunt Hannah, a memory lapse he would feel guilty about later, when his mind stopped reeling.

*****LA*****

Scorpius sat at his desk in his fourth story apartment, staring out of the window at the star-studded sky, one heel propped up on the edge of the chair, his chin resting on his knee.

_What in Merlin's name had he just agreed to?_

Coffee with Albus Potter? With three weeks between now and then in which to second guess and worry himself into distraction? And what did he have to be worried about anyway? He was a completely different person than the lost little boy who had depended completely upon Albus; he hadn't depended on anybody but himself in years. So why did the sight of the former Gryffindor make him feel like that little boy again? Not that he had let the other man see that, or at least he hoped he hadn't; the last thing he needed to do was to feed Albus Potter's ego. Although, come to think of it, the man who had come into Millegar's Maps today hadn't had the air of pretension about him that Scorpius had grown to associate with Albus during their last year and a half at Hogwarts. Well, he himself had certainly changed since then; it stood to reason that Albus would have too. Somehow he had just never considered that.

Scorpius rubbed his eyes and looked toward his bed, which was suddenly looking very inviting. There was no use worrying about it now. He had better get some sleep so he could get to work on that map tomorrow.

*****LA*****

Albus opened his closet for the tenth time and scanned the contents, even though he knew it by heart. This was something he could really use Lily for, but for some reason he couldn't quite justify to himself, he didn't want anyone else knowing he had met Scorpius again just yet. It seemed somehow...private.

He sighed and turned his attention back to the contents of his closet. What was he supposed to wear today? Something nice? He hadn't seen the man in nearly five years after all. But they were just going out for coffee, it wasn't a _date_, so maybe something more casual? He picked up a green t-shirt and considered it. But first he was going there on business, so maybe he should wear a suit? Albus scowled. This was ridiculous! Who cared what he wore, anyway? Without any more thought he grabbed a pair of khaki slacks and a button-up with thin stripes of black, white, and navy blue and threw them on. If he didn't leave now he was going to be late.

*****LA*****

Scorpius had offered to work the front desk for the last hour of the day so that the scheduled girl, Marylena, could go home and get ready for her date that night. Of course in reality Scorpius couldn't care less about Marylena's date. Marylena was a huge gossip and he knew that if she saw Scorpius and Albus leaving the shop together it would be national news by morning. So he had offered to take her place for an hour so he could leave with Albus without any unneeded fuss. They were merely catching up over a cup of coffee; Albus was a married man for Merlin's sake!

Scorpius looked up as the shop bell tinkled overhead. Sure enough, Albus Potter was shutting the door behind him, looking casually adorable in a blue, white, and black striped button-up and khaki slacks.

"Working the desk again, I see," he said. "Don't you get time off for good behavior?"

Scorpius felt a smile tug at his lips. "I volunteered to take over for the last hour of the day, close up shop and all."

"A selfless act of kindness?"

"Of course," said Scorpius, smirking, "and a convenient way to get that busybody secretary out of my hair."

Albus chuckled. "How very Slytherin of you."

Scorpius finished up the last of the day's work, gave Albus the completed map for the Auror Office, and closed up the store. Then the two headed out into the dusky streets of Diagon Alley and toward a little coffee shop where Scorpius had been on several first dates with various boyfriends since he had started working at Millegar's.

The two young men sat sipping cappuccinos and catching up on each other's lives since they had last seen one another. Scorpius marveled at how easy it was to talk to Albus. He had assumed that when they finally met again after all that time it would be exceedingly awkward, and it had been, at first, but now talking to the dark-haired young man who was seated across from him seemed, well, natural.

"So you're working in the outer Auror Office, Albus? I always thought you wanted to become an actual Auror."

"I still do," said Albus. "Only I didn't get good enough marks on my N.E.. I kind of slacked off during my seventh year," he admitted sheepishly. "I'm hoping to be able to take the Academy Entrance Exam eventually though, that's why I'm working the job I have right now. What about you, Scorpius? How did you land an apprenticeship with Millegar?"

"It's actually kind of a funny story," said Scorpius, stirring his cappuccino idly. "I was working in Twilfitt and Twattings as a sales clerk when Mr. Millegar came in to buy some robes. It was a slow day so I was doodling on a spare piece of parchment and I didn't hear him come in. All of a sudden he's looming over me, gazing down at my drawing. I jumped up and tried to hide the thing away, but he grabbed it and said, 'Do you have more of these?' The next thing I knew he was offering me an apprenticeship in his shop."

"I'd love to see some of the other maps you've drawn, Scorpius" said Albus. "This one is fantastic."

"Maybe I'll bring some of them with me next time," said Scorpius without thinking.

"Next time?" said Albus, raising his eyebrows slightly.

"Er—well—that is if you'd like to meet again sometime," said Scorpius.

"You know what? I think I would," said Albus.

*****LA*****

Albus and Scorpius met at the same café several more times over the next few weeks. Somehow neither of them had gotten around to mentioning their meeting to their friends and families, but it didn't seem that important; they were just old acquaintances catching up on each other's lives. They talked about what was going on in their daily lives, the news, the weather, their jobs...nothing that dated back further than four years, nothing about their time together at Hogwarts. They might as well not have gone to school together for as much as the topic came up.

"Albus, does your wife mind you spending so much time out of the house?" asked Scorpius one day over a shared piece of chocolate tart.

"Come again?"

"Your wife, she must miss you when you come here instead of going home after work."

Albus looked at him in confusion. "I haven't got a wife."

"You—what?"

"I haven't got a wife. I'm single."

"But...but..." said Scorpius, feeling utterly bewildered. "You were engaged. I read it in the _Daily Prophet _three years ago."

"Oh, that." said Albus. "No. That didn't work out."

Scorpius felt as though the floor had just vanished from beneath his feet. All this time he had thought he was spending time with a happily married and so perfectly off-limits man; the revelation that this wasn't the case opened a whole new can of worms that Scorpius did not want to deal with.

"Er—what happened?"

Albus shrugged. "Nothing really. We just realized that getting married wasn't the right choice for us. Merin was a very close family friend, and a very sweet girl, but we would have been lying to ourselves and to each other if we had gone through with the marriage, because neither of us was really in love with the other. And I've learned the hard way that lying in a relationship is a sorry, losing game."

This was the first reference either of them had made to their previous relationship. Scorpius looked up from his cup of tea to meet Albus's eyes.

"Yes, things would have been a lot easier if I had paid attention to that from the start too," he said softly. "It's a shame when you violate a relationship with needless untruths. Even if they start just small."

"But they never seem to stay small, do they?" said Albus ruefully. "It's such an obvious thing, a fundamental truth."

"Lesson number one:" agreed Scorpius, "Tell the truth. Isn't that what your parents tell you from the time you're old enough to understand?"

"Lying only leads to more problems that are worse than the ones you started out with," said Albus.

"Doesn't it ever."

The two men shared a look of understanding and recognition.

"And yet it seems to be a lesson you really have to learn for yourself," said Albus. "I know I certainly have."

"Me too," agreed Scorpius. "Hmm," he said, almost to himself. "I wonder why Lily never mentioned that you didn't end up getting married? Come to think of it, I don't think she ever mentioned your engagement in the first place... We never really talked about you in our letters."

"You're still in touch with Lily?" said Albus, surprised.

"Sporadically," said Scorpius. "We write back and forth every few months. It sounds like she's having a wonderful time."

"She is," agreed Albus, smiling at the thought of his younger sister. "She really loves what she does."

"She's in South America now, right?" said Scorpius.

"Yes, she just left for Chile last week. She'll be home for Christmas though."

"And she's still single too, yes?"

Albus nodded in affirmation, "It would take one hell of a man to reign her in enough to capture her heart."

"Or love her enough to let her roam free," said Scorpius.

"How about you, Scorpius?" said Albus. "Do you have anyone special in your life?"

Scorpius shook his head, staring at the wood grains in the tabletop. "Not right now. I have, but nothing ever worked out."

"I'm sorry."

Scorpius shrugged. "Maybe there's just no one out there for me."

"Sounds like a lonely kind of life."

"And yours is any different?"

"Touché."

Scorpius drained his teacup and stood up, suddenly feeling reckless. "I don't feel like going home yet. I know a great place not too far away, if you don't mind going to a gay bar."

Albus grinned. "That sounds fun. Just because I was engaged to a girl doesn't mean I can't still appreciate testosterone. I do swing both ways, remember?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, making Scorpius blush. "I'm afraid I'm not really dressed for partying, however," he said, looking down at his outfit, which was what he had worn to the office that day.

"That can be remedied," said Scorpius, feeling his face stretch into grin as well. "There's still plenty of time to go shopping."

*******Song Lyrics*******

_Nobody can share my troubles, this I know._

_And let me tell you I learned a lesson, here I go._

_Don't you know? _

_It's just as sure as the rising sun._

_Don't you know? _

_To tell the truth is lesson number one._

_To lie to your lover is sorry losing game._

_To lie is violation and a shame._

_Don't you know? _

_To tell the truth is lesson number one._

_I remember being told to be careful, for telling even one lie_

_Would surely lead to more problems of alarming dimensions_

_I wish I'd paid attention, oh..._

_Don't you know? _

_It's just as sure as rising sun._

_Don't you know? _

_To tell the truth is lesson number one._

_Don't you know? _

_It's just as sure as rising sun._

_Don't you know? _

_To tell the truth is lesson number one._

**AN: Reading over this again for re-editing I find that I really like this chapter. A lot.**

**Sooooo...our boys (well, men now) have become reacquainted. And you know why Al's not married and that Scorp did stay in touch with Lily some. And what their jobs are too.**

**This is totally not important, but the shirt Albus wears the first time he goes out to coffee with Scorp—so any of you know who Chris Colfer is? Kurt from "Glee"? Have you seen some of the pictures of him (as Chris, not as Kurt) where he's wearing a navy blue, black, & white striped button-up? 'Cause that's the shirt I'm envisioning Al wearing here. Random, I know.**

**I know you've been just waiting for this point, and now you have it! And can tell me what you thought of it! (Right? Right? ;) ) Thank you for reading!**

**-SQ**


	11. Just Some Guy

**Author's Note: This chapter is the climax of the story. No pun intended, but there is a fairly intense (though still T) sex scene in this chapter, so be aware. I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**-SQ**

**Disclaimer: I am neither JK Rowling nor Anthony Rapp, therefore I own neither Harry Potter nor the song "Just Some Guy". I really love both though :)**

**Chapter Eleven: Just Some Guy**

Albus felt rather self-conscious as he walked with Scorpius up the steps of a shiny metal building over which blazed the magenta words _The Sentinel_.

He had been rather amused to see that Scorpius had apparently kept up the habit of Muggle shopping that Albus had introduced him to way back when. The two young men had spent their afternoon hitting up some high class boutiques of the kind which Albus never would have set foot into alone in either the Muggle or wizarding worlds, and now Albus sported a tailor-cut dark green silk vest over a pale gold open necked linen shirt with elbow length sleeves. His trousers were black skinny jeans which he could literally feel showing off his ass. Beside him, Scorpius looked completely at ease in a thin, dark gray, form-fitting, collared woolen sweater which reached three quarters of the way down his thighs and buttoned on the side with large silver buttons. He too was wearing skinny jeans, but his were a pure, eye-aching white. A dark blue ribbon secured his long pale locks out of his face and a paler blue stone glinted from a thin silver chain encircling his throat. It was hard to imagine that this confident, collected man had ever been the insecure, clingy boy Albus had known at Hogwarts. It was obvious now that Scorpius needed to rely on no one but himself.

"Relax, Albus," said Scorpius, grabbing Albus's fidgeting hands and moving them away from the golden buttons on the front of his vest, "you look fine, stop fussing."

"Is this really how people dress when they go to these places?" asked Albus.

"Yes, Albus." Scorpius reassured him with a laugh. "This is really how people dress when they go to these places. How long has it been since you've been clubbing?"

"Er..." said Albus.

Scorpius looked at him.

"You _have_ been clubbing, haven't you?"

"Of course!" said Albus in an offended tone.

"How many times?"

"Er—once?" offered Albus. "Since when are you the clubbing type anyway?"

"Since one of my boyfriends introduced me to it a few years back," said Scorpius. "Unfortunate for him, seeing as I met the guy I dumped him for at one of the clubs he took me to, but there you go. Come on, we're wasting time, let's go in."

The two men climbed the steps and handed their money to a burly and bored looking security guard before stepping into the bar.

The inside of the club was as metallic as the outside, with multicolored lights making the silver walls and furniture glow like some sort of neon rainbow. The bar was on the far wall, tended by several witches and wizards between the ages of twenty and thirty who wore clothing designed to entice without being indecent, a definite improvement on the scandalous attire found on the barmaids in the few straight oriented bars Albus had visited. The dance floor was full of witches and wizards moving and mingling to the music provided by a live band of transvestites performing surprisingly good covers of _Weird Sisters_ songs from an elevated stage.

"What do you think?" asked Scorpius over the noise, sliding himself onto a barstool and motioning over a bartender who was incredibly cute in a boyish way.

"I like it," said Albus. "Do you come here often?"

"Oh, sometimes," said Scorpius, shrugging. "It's my favorite place, but it's no fun to come alone so I haven't been in a while."

"What can I get you two hunks?" asked the bartender, leaning his elbow on the counter and flashing them a smile.

"A vodka tonic," said Scorpius. "Make that with Absolut Ruby Red."

The young man nodded at Scorpius, offering him a conspiratorial wink with one blue eye, and then looked questioningly at Albus.

Albus eyed the bottles of alcohol behind the counter. He usually did most of his drinking at family gatherings, not a bars, and he didn't have the remotest idea of what to choose.

"Er—I dunno..." he looked at Scorpius. "I'll just have what he's having."

"Two Absolut Ruby Red vodka tonics coming right up," said the bartender and swept around to prepare the drinks, swinging his hips so that his low-slung jeans revealed an enticing slice of bony hip.

*****LA*****

A while later—Albus and Scorpius were enjoying their second round of drinks—Albus felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Hey, Mr. Wallflower, I haven't seen you out on the dance floor yet. Have a problem with the music?"

"Erm—no—I just—" stuttered Albus, feeling like a complete idiot.

The speaker, a tall redhead with a lithe, muscular built and heavy violet eyeliner laughed. "Then what are you waiting for?"

Albus found himself glancing at Scorpius, as though he needed the blonde's permission to go with this man.

"Go, go!" said Scorpius, pushing him from his chair. "Have fun! That's what you're here for!"

Albus stood and the redhead quickly pulled him away from Scorpius and into the crowd.

Albus had to admit his new acquaintance was a good dancer—much better than Albus himself, that was for sure. His arms circled first Albus's neck and then his waist as he shifted his weight back and forth, bending Albus first forward and then backward, all the while grinding their hips together just enough to be sensual.

From the bar Scorpius watched the sexy, eyeliner-sporting newcomer dance with Albus and ordered himself another drink. How long were the two going to dance together anyway? As if on cue, the song ended and the tall redhead passed the shorter boy off to another partner, but somehow this didn't make Scorpius feel any better.

Scorpius cursed himself for being jealous of the other men (how many was he going to dance with anyway?) Albus was dancing with. They were friends (he could call them that by now, right?), that was all, and if he had wanted to dance with the other man he should have bloody well asked him! It was the alcohol making him think such ridiculous thoughts, Scorpius decided, taking another large sip of his tequila sunrise, definitely the alcohol.

*****LA*****

Albus returned an indefinite amount of time later, flushed and panting, to find Scorpius staring blearily into space over a half-empty glass of something green and bubbly.

"Scorpius?"

Scorpius blinked and turned his bleary gaze slowly to Albus, squinting to bring the other man into focus.

"You're back," he slurred, a goofy grin adorning his features. "Have fun?"

Albus eyed the man sitting in front of him. "Scorpius, how many drinks have you had?"

"This is my..." Scorpius counted on his fingers "f-fourth I—hic!—think," he said.

"And you're already this pissed?" said Albus. "Merlin, Scorpius, I knew you had a ridiculously low alcohol limit when we were at school, but I thought by now you would have built _some _tolerance."

"Nope," said Scorpius cheerfully, swaying slightly and catching himself on the edge of his seat. He reached for his glass, but Albus quickly moved it out of his reach.

"Oh no, I'm taking you home," he said firmly, sliding his arm under the blonde's armpits and hoisting him up.

Scorpius stumbled and then found his feet but Albus kept a firm arm around him as he steered him toward the door.

"Now, where do you live?"

Scorpius shrugged good-naturedly. "Don't—hic!—really remember. Downtown...somewhere..."

"Oh Merlin," said Albus. "Can't you even remember your own address?"

Scorpius screwed up his face in concentration. "Maybe...something with a four...yes, definitely a four..."

"This is hopeless," said Albus. "I'll just take you back to my place and you can tell me where you live in the morning when we're you're sober. Though you're going to have one hell of a hangover."

*****LA*****

Albus, who was none too sober himself, opted to take a taxi back to his flat rather than risk trying to Apparate.

Once there he was presented with an unforeseen problem: there was only one bed. Resigning himself to sleeping on the couch—which was not a futon—Albus left Scorpius, who had by now sobered up enough to at least not be a physical danger to himself or any of Albus's belongings, to settle himself in Albus's bed while Albus readied the couch, confident that he was drunk and tired enough to fall asleep anywhere, even an uncomfortable sofa.

*****LA*****

Twenty minutes later, showered and dressed in the much more comfortable outfit of nothing but his boxers and open bathrobe, Albus, his arms full of blankets to try and make the couch at least marginally more comfortable, made his sleepy, drink-groggy way from the bathroom to the living room.

Albus's bedroom, which was currently occupied by a most-likely already passed out Scorpius, was in between these two points, and as he passed by the door he half-glanced in that direction. What he saw made him stop dead as though he had walked into a wall—a very solid, rather painful wall.

The door was ajar and Scorpius, who was _not _passed out, was standing casually in the middle of the room, wearing not a stitch of clothing, looking like the some resplendent Grecian statue.

All coherent thought fled Albus's alcohol muddled brain. The blankets fell from his arms onto the floor and his feet took him over them and into the room quite of their own accord.

Scorpius started slightly at the noise and looked up. From the look on his face he hadn't been expecting the encounter any more than Albus had.

"Albus? You look as though you've seen a ghost."

"Not a ghost," said Albus breathlessly. "An angel."

Scorpius looked confused for a second and then glanced down at his own naked body, flushing a becoming shade of pink.

"Oh...I hadn't realized..."

"I should...go now..." said Albus, making no move to do so.

Scorpius nodded and then shook his head. He looked confused again for a moment and then took a step toward Albus.

"You're gorgeous," he breathed, now close enough to reach out and touch the other man, though he did not.

"_Me?"_ Albus managed, still unable to take his eyes off of Scorpius's perfect body.

Scorpius nodded and took another step forward so that they were nearly chest to chest. Albus could smell the aroma of sweat and alcohol and heady maleness that rose in a cloud around Scorpius as thick as perfume.

"I couldn't take my eyes off you all night," said Scorpius.

Now Scorpius did touch him, lightly, on the exposed skin of his chest, still slightly damp from his shower.

Albus shivered.

"Are you cold?" asked Scorpius.

"No," said Albus. "Are you?"

"No," said Scorpius.

Albus grazed the hairs on Scorpius's forearm with his fingertips.

"You have goosebumps."

Scorpius trailed his own fingers down Albus's chest to his stomach.

"So do you."

Albus felt his stomach clench as he swelled inside his boxers; involuntarily he gripped Scorpius's arm.

Scorpius bent his face into the crook between Albus's neck and shoulder.

"We shouldn't be doing this," he said huskily. "I'm drunk."

"So am I," said Albus, as though that somehow made it alright.

After that all talk ceased. Scorpius closed the last millimeters of distance between their bodies, Albus somehow managing to shuck his robe and boxers in the process. Their mouths found each other and worked with a passionate frenzy matched only by their hands as they worked their way down each other's naked forms, exploring flesh that was at once intimately familiar and completely new. Albus fisted his hands around Scorpius's butt cheeks, digging his fingernails into the soft, supple flesh. Scorpius responded by shoving Albus up against the bedroom wall, his own hands sliding between them to fondle the shorter man's erection while his mouth worked its brutal way down Albus's neck to his nipples.

The two fell sideways onto the bed, heedless of the tangle of blankets they shoved unceremoniously to the floor in favor of more working room. Scorpius's mouth continued its journey downward until it took the place of his hands, and Albus strained against him, moaning in pleasure. It had been far too long since he had last had someone else in his bed, and even longer since that someone had been another man. In fact, the last time he had been with someone else of his own gender he had been fourteen...

He rejected that train of thought as irrelevant to the matter at hand, and opted instead for shifting his position so that he could penetrate Scorpius with his recently liberated member.

Scorpius cried out in exhalation as the two men came together, his palms pressed flat against Albus's sculpted abs. This was surely what heaven felt like, he thought as their two spent bodies relaxed as one against the sheets.

Albus's arms felt strong and protective around Scorpius's waist, and his lips still brushed lingering, lazy kisses against his shoulder.

"That...was...wonderful," whispered Albus between kisses. "You're...perfect... Just how I remember you...only a thousand times better. Stay here forever...and nothing will ever harm you ever again."

"I'll stay as long as you want me to," said Scorpius, drowning in the low, mellow tones of Albus's voice, hardly even aware of what he was saying. "I love you. I'll never leave you."

Words he'd said to half a dozen other guys in the past five years, and yet they felt as new as the first time he had uttered them. _To Albus_, he realized.

"How did I get here?" he wondered aloud, lifting himself up slightly to look at Albus's face. "How in Merlin's name did I get so lucky? I didn't _do_ anything. I've tried so hard over the past five years to find something, some_one_, and now, when I didn't try at all, _this_ happens."

"You always did try too hard," murmured Albus. "And besides, I'm nothing special, I'm just some guy you used to know a long time ago."

Scorpius rolled over and stretched out on his back, raising his arms above his head and smiling sincerely up at Albus. Albus couldn't help but leaning down to steal another kiss.

"I love you," said Scorpius into Albus's mouth, hands stroking the dark-haired man's tanned skin, brain buzzing with adrenaline and alcohol. "I love you, I love you, I love you..."

Albus laid his cheek against Scorpius's chest, head suddenly too heavy to hold aloft, and ran his fingers through Scorpius's silky hair, watching Scorpius's shining silver eyes with sleepy wonder.

He moved his hand down from Scorpius's hair to his heart.

"I've found my safe haven..." he murmured drowsily, too tired to care if he sounded stupid or sappy, "right here... How was I ever lucky enough to find you again? So...easily."

Scorpius shrugged a shoulder and closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of Albus's fingers in his hair, still familiar after all these years. "No particular luck. I'm no more special than anyone else. Just another guy. You're Albus Potter, you could have anyone. "

"Because my father's famous."

"No, because your heart is so big, your mind's so alive. You're more passionate and free spirited and open minded than anyone I've ever known. You have the vision and drive to take whatever you want, and you use it to give instead. You helped me to heal once when we were barely old enough to understand what was going on, and now you've helped me again to realize that I've been living in a rut."

He closed his eyes again, exhausted after his little speech, unwilling to think any more past the bliss of this moment.

"Right now I'd go to the end of the world with you if you asked me to."

Albus too closed his eyes, and sensed rather than heard or felt Scorpius breathe in his scent as he was breathing in Scorpius's. The blonde's thin fingers traced manicured nails over the exposed skin of his back. As Albus began to doze off the only thought in his head was that he hoped this feeling wouldn't die, because he was sure he was happier now than he had ever been in his entire life. Scorpius could say whatever he wanted about being just another guy like anyone else, Albus knew he was surely an angel sent down from heaven; a thousand times more...more...just _more_ than anyone else in the entire world.

_And mine, all mine..._

*******Song Lyrics*******

So he's holding me in his arms

And he's giving me sweet little kisses

And he's telling me he'll never harm me

And he's whispering how wonderful this is

And I tell him that I love him

And I tell him I'll be true

And I've said these things to other boys,

but right now the old words feel so new.

And I ask him, how did I get so lucky, I didn't even have to try.

I don't know, he says, I'm nothing special,

I'm just some guy.

And he's smiling like he means it

And he's stretched out on his back

And he's telling me that he loves me

for the fifth or the sixth time, I can't keep track.

And I watch his eyes as they shine,

run my fingers through his hair

And I touch his chest where his heart is

and tell him I find safe haven there.

And I ask him, how did I get so lucky, I didn't even have to try.

I don't know, he says, I'm nothing special,

I'm just some guy.

And I say, your heart is so big, and your mind's so alive.

You have passion and freedom and vision and drive

You have so much to give and you give it with care

You have helped me to heal and there's nowhere I won't go with you

And he's holding me now even tighter

And he's breathing me in

And he's telling me now that he loves me

And he's tracing his fingertips over my skin

And I'm happier now than I've ever been

And I'm hoping this feeling won't die

And if he says he's just some guy that's fine

the truth is he's mine.

My sweetheart, my love, sent down from the sky

So very much more than just some guy.

**AN: So...*grin* what'd you think? About the bar, the reunion, the sex scene, the chapter in general, really, I'd like to know. This is the second chapter that has a large chunk that doesn't really pertain to the song, and the first where I tried to follow the song lyrics more or less in order. There is one more chapter after this and then it's over, so review while you can! ;)**

**-SQ**


	12. Now I Know

**Author's Note: Here is the chapter. The last chapter. The chapter whose song was the inspiration for the entire fic. Truthfully, like way back with Chapter 4, I think the song is better than the chapter, but this is the best I was going to come up with, so I hope you enjoy it :)**

**Oh, and Scorpius's and Albus's clubbing outfits in the last chapter and Scorpius's outfit in this chapter were all inspired by (but not directly copied from) Kurt Hummel from Glee ;)**

**-SQ**

**Disclaimer: Though I did purchase the 1****st**** Harry Potter book in Spanish, I still don't own Harry Potter. Nor do I own the song "Now I Know". Hell, I don't even own the CD anymore; it broke right after I started writing this fic.**

**Chapter Twelve: Now I Know**

Scorpius woke to the feeling of late morning sunshine on his hair and Albus's bare chest beneath his cheek. Eyes still closed, he inhaled the scent of the boy lying beneath him, taking comfort in Albus's solid form. Albus shifted and Scorpius opened his eyes to gaze lovingly into his boyfriend's face.

A face which, instead of the soft lines of adolescence was defined by a mature, masculine jawline dotted with rough morning stubble. Scorpius suddenly found himself wide awake. He was no longer fourteen, he was twenty-three, and Albus had not been his boyfriend for more than six years.

Albus's eyes opened and he blinked up at the blonde above him.

"Interesting position."

Scorpius blushed like the fourteen-year-old he had momentarily forgotten he wasn't and sat up so quickly his head spun.

"I should go," he said, even though every fiber of his being was crying out for him to go back into Albus's arms.

Albus propped himself up on his elbows.

"Why?"

"Look," said Scorpius, standing, "it was really nice of you to bring me back here last night and everything, but I—Ooh."

He clutched his suddenly pounding head, fighting a wave of nausea.

"Easy there," said Albus, taking his elbow and steering him back to the bed. "I thought that might happen. You were quite drunk last night."

"I know," said Scorpius. "I made a fool of myself, getting so pissed drunk I couldn't even see straight."

"I wasn't that sober myself," Albus pointed out. "You alright now?

"Yes, said Scorpius. "And I took advantage of you. I didn't even ask you I just—just—jumped you like some sort of wild animal and I'm sorry, I'm not usually like that. I just...I should go."

He tried to rise again, despite his churning stomach and pounding head, but Albus pulled him back down.

"Took advantage of me?" said Albus incredulously. "Scorpius, I was every bit as much into it as you were."

"You were drunk."

"So were you."

"That doesn't excuse me."

"Now you're not making any sense at all," said Albus. "Did you or didn't you enjoy last night? Because I did, and I don't just mean the sex, though that was a big part of it."

"Of course I enjoyed last night," said Scorpius, rubbing his aching temples. "I'm just sorry I crossed the line."

"Maybe it was a line meant to be crossed." said Albus. He sat up. "You know, I never in a million years thought I'd wake up with you in my bed again."

Scorpius hugged his knees. "When I first woke up I thought for a minute that we were still fourteen, and none of that other stuff had ever happened," he confessed.

Albus nodded in understanding. "Last night I _felt_ like none of it had ever happened, like we'd never been apart from each other. But we're not fourteen anymore, and it has happened, and we were apart."

"I never forgot about you, you know," said Scorpius. "I was always watching you out of the corner of my eye, hoping maybe you were feeling as miserable as I was. But you seemed better off alone."

"Oh Scorp," said Albus, shaking his head. "I was a wreck those last two years at Hogwarts."

Scorpius looked at him, startled. "You were? But you seemed so self-assured!" Then, "You just called me Scorp."

Albus blinked. "I did didn't I? Should I not?"

"No," said Scorpius. "I mean, it's alright if you do. I just haven't heard that nickname from anyone besides Lily in a long time. You were telling me about your seeming self-assurance back at Hogwarts."

"It was all an act," said Albus. "If you want to see self-assurance, look in the mirror. I don't know what happened to you in the last four and a half years, but whatever it was it was good. That's the reason I never tried anything before last night, you were on your own and seemed perfectly content to be so."

Scorpius shrugged. "I was, until you suddenly came back into my life." He considered for a moment. "Or at least I thought I was."

"Mmm?" said Albus questioningly.

"I swore to myself I was over you when I left Hogwarts, and I set out to find someone new, but really I think I was just looking for you the entire time. All of my boyfriends were subconsciously chosen because they reminded me in some way of you."

"Really?" said Albus. I was just the opposite. I knew I still had feelings for you, but I also knew that was over and done with, so I set out to find someone who was the least like you as possible. I never dated another boy after you, only girls who had nothing in common with you. It never worked out though."

"Nothing ever worked out for me either," said Scorpius.

"Last night..." said Albus, licking his lips. "You said..."

"I said a lot of things last night," said Scorpius.

"You told me you loved me."

Scorpius was silent for a minute. "None of my other relationships worked out," he said finally. "And now I know it's because I never truly stopped loving you."

Albus looked up from the bedspread. "Scorp..."

"I understand if you don't feel the same way, Al. It's been a long time."

"Of course I feel the same way," said Albus. "I've always loved you. And you called me Al."

"Everyone calls you Al. And you have?"

"Yes, they do, but you haven't since I was sixteen. And yes, I have always loved you. But we tried this once before and it didn't work."

"So?" said Scorpius. "We're different people now. We can try again. I made the mistake of letting you go once, I'm not going to make it again. Not if you still love me."

"I tried to go after you, you know," said Albus. "That last day at King's Cross. I called out to you, but you had already gone through the barrier."

There was real pain in Scorpius's eyes.

"You did? If I had known I would have come back to you in a heartbeat. I should have never let you go in the first place."

"Maybe it's better this way, though," said Albus thoughtfully. "We've grown up now, and we know what we're getting ourselves into. What we had back at Hogwarts...I wasn't ready for it then."

Scorpius nodded. "Neither was I." He reached out and ran his hands over Albus's muscled chest. "Merlin, you are so much more than I deserve."

Albus put his own hands on Scorpius's shoulders and drew him close to him.

"Nonsense. After what you went through at Hogwarts, you deserve the world. I thought I knew everything about everything back when I was sixteen. But I didn't know anything at all, not even how to hold onto what mattered most."

Scorpius buried his face in Albus's shoulder. "We both thought we knew everything there was to know about the other, but there are so many things I don't know about you, Albus, especially now."

Albus pulled back and brushed Scorpius's long hair out of his face.

"I'll tell you everything you want to know and more. I swear I'm not the ass I used to be."

Scorpius smiled. "I never thought you were an ass."

"Does...does this mean we're together again?" asked Albus tentatively.

"I told you," said Scorpius. "I should never have let you go in the first place, I'm certainly not letting you go a second time. I've had my time to think, more than enough of it, and I love you, Albus Potter. You're the only man I've ever loved. I know that now and want you to know that I know that."

Albus kissed first Scorpius's silky hair and then his pink lips, holding him as though he were going to slip away at any minute.

"Merlin, you don't know how much I've missed this. It was never the same with any girl. Never."

"Not even your fiancé?"

"I told you, said Albus, we were never really in love, Merin and I. It would have been a marriage of convenience"

"Were you ever in love with anyone besides me?" asked Scorpius.

Albus paused for a second. "I think I could have been..." he said slowly. "Once... If I had let myself. But I was too afraid, both for myself and for her."

"Who was it?" asked Scorpius curiously but without resentment. "Rebbecca Matlock?"

Albus snorted. "No. I _thought_ I was in love with her, but she was right, it was just infatuation. No, there was another girl, when I was in my seventh year. She was a fourth year and completely enamored with me. But I didn't let myself get close to her. I didn't want to hurt her. Like I'd hurt you."

Scorpius stroked the tanned skin of Albus's arms gently. "That's all behind us now. It doesn't matter."

Albus bend his head to plant a kiss on Scorpius's shoulder. "Damnit Scorp, it's _me_ who doesn't deserve _you_."

"We could argue this all day," said Scorpius seductively, "or we could turn to more enjoyable pursuits..."

Albus was tempted, but...

"No, you feel like shit. I know you do, because _I _do, and you were drunker than me. We need a couple of good potions, a shower, and some breakfast. Then we'll talk."

*****LA*****

And hour later both men were sitting at the kitchen table, nursing mugs of tea. Though still not feeling perfect, the potions and showers had made their hangovers much better and they now felt capable of doing something besides lying in bed all day. Not that the idea wasn't still tempting.

Albus looked at Scorpius, who was wearing his own Gryffindor-colored bathrobe, over the top of his tea mug.

"Those colors don't suit you at all," he said. "You should get dressed."

"I have nothing to wear," said Scorpius pointed out. "My clothes are dirty and smell like alcohol."

"Good point," said Albus. "I'll Apparate over to your place and get you something. I trust you remember the address now?"

Scorpius smirked guiltily. "I might not have tired _quite_ as hard as I might have to remember it last night..."

"Sneaky little Slytherin," said Albus. "Tell me where you live and I'll get you some clothes."

"Okay," said Scorpius. "It's 402 Angleshire Avenue and I'm coming with you, I don't trust your fashion sense enough to pick out my clothes. But why the rush?"

Albus drained his tea and moved to stand behind Scorpius. "Because, with your permission, we're going to make this official," said Albus. "We're going to tell everybody that we're together, and then we're going to find someplace to live."

"Right now?" said Scorpius, eyes going wide.

"What better time than the present?"

Albus kissed the top of Scorpius's head and squeezed his shoulders.

"Let's go then."

They held hands and Apparated into Scorpius's living room.

Albus looked around.

"Nice place. Very stylish."

Scorpius shrugged. "It's okay I guess," he said, secretly and foolishly proud that Albus approved of his flat. "My bedroom is this way."

Scorpius led Albus into the bedroom and opened his closet.

"Wow," said Albus. "You have a lot of clothes."

Scorpius smirked. "Gay prerogative."

He considered for a moment and then selected a white button-up, a tight dark blue hoodie, and a zebra-striped scarf along with a pair of fade-wash skinny jeans.

He took off the bathrobe and put on the clothes while Albus watched in obvious enjoyment.

"I thought your body was absolutely perfect when we were in school, but it's a hundred times better now that it's matured."

Scorpius finished tying his tie and looked up, one eyebrow raised. "You'd have serious issues if you still preferred a fourteen-year-old's body to that of a grown man's"

Albus chucked a pillow at him.

"You know what I mean."

"Hey!" said Scorpius, catching the pillow and setting it gently back on the bed. "That's designer!"

Albus rolled his eyes and stood up. "Well, let's get going. We've got a lot of things to do today." He started toward the door, but Scorpius grabbed his wrist.

"Wait."

"What?"

"If we're going to tell people, we should have something to tell them." He took a deep breath and then lowered himself onto one knee.

Albus looked at him in confusion.

"Scorpius, what—?"

"Albus Potter, will you marry me?"

Albus stared at him, unable to say a word. All the color drained out of his face and he looked like he was going into shock.

"Albus? Al? Say something..."

"I—I—"

"Fuck," said Scorpius. "Now I've just gone and ruined everything like usual, I—"

He was cut off by Albus's lips smashing into his own.

"Yes. Yes! Fucking Merlin, yes!" said Albus. "You really want to marry me?"

"I've never wanted anything more," said Scorpius, breathless from the force of Albus's kiss. "It isn't too fast for you?"

"Too fast?" said Albus. "I've waited nine fucking years to hear those words from you."

He looked into Scorpius silver eyes.

"I can't believe I have you back. I love you so much."

"I love you too," said Scorpius. "You know, this is going to create a scandal in the news though. Most people have forgotten that Albus Potter was in a gay relationship in school. And now all of a sudden he's getting married to another man? Without one word of warning?" he twisted a lock of pale hair around his forefinger. "Maybe we should wait after all..."

Albus shook his head. "First of all, I thought I broke you of that habit ages ago," he said, slapping Scorpius's hand away from his hair. "And second, what's the point in waiting when we both know we want this? You _do_ want this, don't you?"

"I'm the one who asked you, aren't I?" said Scorpius. "But I have one condition before we tell your family."

"Oh? What's that?"

"I have to buy you a ring."

*****LA*****

The Potter/Weasley extended family alone filled half the seats in the outdoor wedding pavilion. The rest were occupied by various friends, colleagues, and well-wishers. Scorpius's father and maternal grandparents sat uneasily near the front, surrounded on all sides by boisterous members of the Potter/Weasley clan.

Behind the grand curtain at the front of the pavilion, Lily was helping her brother make the last minute preparations.

"Come on, Albus, breath," she said. "You look wonderful, Scorpius will be dazzled."

"I'm terrified," Albus admitted. "And I'm not even sure what of. I know he loves me, the bloke tells me sixteen times a day."

"Standard wedding nerves," James assured him. "There'd be something wrong with you if you _didn't_ feel them."

The music started and Lily gave Albus a push toward his mother.

"Go on, it's time."

Albus swallowed, adjusted his tie, and walked through the ivory curtains onto the stage on his mother's arm.

Across from him, at the back of the pavilion, Scorpius was emerging from a matching set of ivory curtains, holding his own mother's arm. As he proceeded up the isle toward the stage, Lily, James, and the other attendants emerged from the sides and made their own way up to the stage. Albus and Scorpius had decided to do it this way rather than have each of them attended individually.

Minerva McGonagall, whom they had chosen to preside over the ceremony, began to read the standard wedding script, but when it came time for the vows she stopped and gestured toward the two young men before her.

"Albus Severus Potter," said Scorpius, speaking first, "you have been my one and only true love since the age of fourteen. You saved my life then, and you have saved it innumerable times since by your simple existence. Your ability to love is astonishing and your willingness to forgive incredible. The six years I spent without you made me realize how empty my life is when you aren't in it. I never want to experience that again. For better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, I love you with every fiber of my being and, if you feel the same, then I, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, take you, Albus Severus Potter, now as my husband, both in the eyes of the law and, more importantly, now and forever in my own heart."

As Scorpius slipped the ring onto his finger Albus felt his heart swell in his throat so that he had trouble speaking his own vows.

"Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy," he said hoarsely. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, when I was thirteen I thought you must be the most amazing boy I had ever known. Now I am almost twenty-three, older and wiser, and I _know_ that you are the most amazing man I have ever known or ever will know. The things you have gone through in your life could have turned you into a hard, bitter person, but instead they have only made you more willing to give all of yourself into your life. Not only do I love you, I admire you and respect you and will do everything in my power to make you happy in our life together. I have always loved you and I always will, and that is why, I, Albus Severus Potter, take you, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, as my lawfully and soulfully wedded husband, until death do us part and beyond."

Minerva McGonagall looked at them, and if they had been paying attention they would have seen a tear glistening in her eye. As it was, the only thing they saw was each other as Albus slipped the ring onto Scorpius's finger with trembling hands.

"You may kiss the groom," she said.

Albus did just that, murmuring against Scorpius's inviting lips, "Scorpius Malfoy, you've made me the happiest man alive."

Scorpius wrapped his arms around Albus's neck, deepening the kiss.

"That's impossible," he said when they came up for air.

"Why?"

Scorpius leaned in again so that his lips were brushing Albus's ear.

"Because that position is currently filled by me."

*******Song Lyrics*******

I woke up to see your face again

I woke up to see

you had spent the night again with me.

I never thought we'd be like this again

never thought we'd be,

then you came back to me.

And now I know I should have never let you go

And now I know I've always loved you

And you are so much more than I deserve

I want you to know that now I know.

After all this time you probably felt safer on your own,

but I was never better off alone.

Probably though that I'd forgotten you,

Probably thought that I

couldn't see you out of the corner of my eye.

And now I know I should have never let you go

And now I know I've always loved you

And you are so much more than I deserve

I want you to know that now I know.

I thought that I knew what you wouldn't do

I thought that I knew everything and more

And now I know I should have never let you go

And now I know I've always loved you

And you are so much more than I deserve

I want you to know that now I know.

And now I know I should have never let you go

And now I know I've always loved you

And you are so much more than I deserve

I want you to know that now I know.

**AN: Did you like their vows? I'm rather proud of them. And yes, now this fic has officially come to an end. There will not be another sequel; the story that I began with Turn to Gold is finally completed. Our boys have the happy ending they deserve but I simply couldn't see them realistically getting at the end of TTG. That was the whole reason behind this fic; I knew Al and Scorpius had to end up together, but I just couldn't see the end of TTG being the end of it and them living happily ever after from that point.**

**You know, when I first wrote this story I didn't like it all that much, I mean I did, but I felt it really paled in comparison to TTG, now, going back over it, I actually really like it. TTG will always be first in my heart, but…**

**Thank you all for reading, and remember, this is your last chance to review!**

**-SQ**


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